Mother´s Day

Every year, all over the world, we have different days that we celebrate. The most traditional holidays is of course christmas, easter, or Ron De Jeremy Rum Day. Then we have Father´s Day, and Mother´s Day, that seems to be popular. To give your dad a gift is easy, all you need is a lap dance at a nude bar. To mother it is more complicated. Most mothers want 3 things in their home, and i know exactly what these 3 things are.

* New shoes
* New husband
* New batteries ( for the fruit blender....i heard )

Holy nuts of Mars, how do i know all of this ? Well, let´s just say i learned all of this by watching Sommar Med Ernst, a swedish tv show that gives men a look into womens lives. So let´s talk about Mother´s Day, a day where we all celebrate our mothers. Every mother is unique, and of course we should show her our appreciation. Just think about what they have to do, taking care at their homes, making sure the family is working, having a full time job ( if possible ). So no matter what date Mother´s Day is in your country, make sure to show your appreciation. When it comes to films, that take on the subject of Mother´s Day, we have some wonderful films to choose between. One of them, that could be seen as a cult film, is the 1980 film Mother´s Day, directed, produced and co-written by Charles Kaufman ( brother of Lloyd Kaufman ). It is a very small low budget film, but enjoyable if you enjoy B horror movies. There was actually a remake made in 2010, produced by legendary director Brett Ratner. I have not seen the remake yet, but heard bad things about it. Let´s mention another film, that should be watched on Mother´s Day, for several reasons. How many of you have seen The Kids Are All Right with Julianne Moore and Annette Benning. A funny, emotional and with really good performances included, about a lesbian couple who tries to make family issues work out. During this spring, i heard that a new film was coming from director Garry Marshal, the man who gave us Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, The Princess Diaries among others. His latest film was simply called Mother´s Day, and i noticed the cast. We have Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Jason Suedikis with many more. We all know these actors from different Hollywood films over the years, and with all of them in the same film, you might think that this could be fun. I decided to give Mother´s Day a chance. With a legendary director in comedies, and a big cast of stars, is this film the perfect film for all mother´s, or is this proof that Hollywood is doomed to fail forever ?

Mother´s Day is getting close. Sandy Newhouse ( Jennifer Aniston ) is a divorced mother of two boys. One day, her ex-husband Henry ( Timothy Olyphant ) comes to visit. He have something important to say. He married a much younger woman, named Tina ( Shay Mitchell ). Sandy is shocked, especially when she hears his plans of taking his much younger wife to Paris, since she never got to travel when she was with Henry. Kristin ( Britt Robertsson ) is a young woman, preparing herself to get married. But she feels a big piece of her is missing. As a child, she was adopted. Kristin´s best friend Jesse ( Kate Hudson ) support her, and suggest that Kristin should go out and find her mother Miranda ( Julia Roberts ). But Jesse is going to be very suprised, when her mother Flo ( Margo Martindale ) and father Earl ( Robert Pine, shows up unexpected, to spend time with their daughter, But she have not told them, she is married to Russel ( Aasif Mandvi ), and she has not been honest to her husband either. This Mother´s Day is going to be special.

I did not have any high expectations seeing Mother´s Day. Probably because i can´t say that director Garry Marshal have made some good films over the years. In fact, the only two films i enjoyed from him, is the 1987 comedy Overboard with Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn, and the 1991 film Frankie And Johnny, with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer. These 2 films were very different from his typical romantic films, that kept being released between the 90´s and into the millennium. Unfortunately, i will have to say that Mother´s Day is nothing we need to remember. This is supposed to be a comedy, and i did not laugh, anywhere. I tried to understand the jokes, but they simply kept falling flat. With all of these actors you automatically hope that they bring some entertainment to the table. But no, this is boring as hell. The acting is awful, the dialogue is cheesy, the characters feels completely uninteresting. I just don´t understand why director Gary Marshall wanted to do such a lazy film as this. Probably to make money ? I would think so. The stories are not put together with a meaning, it is just like everything is supposed to be glorious, and make you cry every 5 minutes. My biggest question is, what are you doing Julia Roberts ? She have never been one of my favourite actors, but she have made some good films like The Pelican Brief, Erin Brokovich and Ocean´s Eleven. But here in Mother´s Day, i have no idea why she is in this film. The only character that i see have something, is the character Lance Wallis, played by actor Hector Elizondo. One detail i should mention here, is that Hector have been in a lot of Garry Mashal´s film in the past, so Garry must have a special eye for Hector. If you look at the different stories, on mothers during the film, this is supposed to make you laugh, feel warm in your heart. And this is the problem, you don´t feel interested in what´s going to happen. Jennifer Aniston does what she usually does, looking serious, and pretend to be hysterical. This did work better in the comedy We´re The Millers, where she also had Jason Sudeikis included in the cast. Mother´s Day is a really bad comedy, with nothing to deliver for either women, or parents. I think it is time Garry Marshal you go over to SyFy Channel and direct quality films instead. Just promise to stop making these romantic dull films that no one cares about. Mother´s Day proves why some comedies should be buried, instead of having a release date.

Rating: D

30 Years Anniversary Of Three Amigos

Its time to do something special again, on Daniels Super Sexy Movie Reviews. 

And in august i will be celebrating 30 years since Three Amigos came out back in 1986.  Those of you who grew up in the 80 's might remember this classic western comedy with Steve Martin, Martin Short and Chevy Chase. It was a crazy satire on Hollywood and on the western genre. The songs is also something that worked so well throughout the concept of the film.  I have seen that a blu ray version is out, so I am going to buy one and watch it again, and post a review in here of course. 

More reviews are coming out, so hold on to your holy nuts, and prepare yourself for some good fun. Thank you everyone worldwide for reading my reviews. 

Cheers from Daniel 

Even Lambs Have Teeth

Every year in august, we celebrate something we call Kräftskiva here in Sweden. This is a moment where we eat crawfish, have some Västerbottenost pie, and snaps of course, known as Brännvin. If you did not know, Brännvin is actually good for your teeth, you can flush with it and remove stains from your teeth. So next time you are out of Colgate Toothpaste, just flush a zip of Brännvin instead. So why bring up this celebration of Kräftskiva ? Well, i think it is nice to gather people, enjoy good food, and celebrate life. And for some reasons, swedish people are actually good at doing it summer time especially. Maybe it is because we can let loose, run out naked, or just do anything we like. But don´t tell Tony Irving that, or he might show up ready to party, that means no sleep at all and hand cuffs included. Speaking of teeth, who does not love a nice piece of meat, on a plate, to some potatoes and sauce ? Now we are talking good stuff. I have always been a meat lover, and enjoy all kinds of meat meals. I have tried many different meat meals in different countries, and i have to say that i love danish meat meals a lot. The danish are really good at making really good steaks, with lots of taste and flavor. Of course, they have a great beer culture also, and that makes it even more easy to enjoy your holiday. Meat will fit anywhere, on the barbecue, in a frying pan, or even boiled ( depending on what kind of meat we are talking about ). How many of you have tried eating lamb ? It is actually great, so i can highly recommend it. There are plenty of farmers who butcher their lambs, when the time is right. But you know, there is always something i dont like about farms. If you see a banjo on the wall, and the farmer wears a cap, there is always a chance he will force you to squeal like a pig, just like in the classic film Deliverance. Films that take place in the countryside are in many different forms. You have drama films, thrillers, horrors, or a mix of everything. One film that was sort of a mi of horror and comedy, that i found myself enjoying, is the british B movie Inbred. The crazy story of insane locals, butchering people, during a couple of circus act, is very odd but funny at moments. I suggest you rent it on VOD, or at the local video store. So this is where a pretty new film comes in, called Even Lambs Have Teeth. I cam across this film, thanks to the horror web page Horror Cult Films, who writes reviews on films and talk about classics and other news, in the world of horror. I have never heard of this film before, so i got curious to see what this is. Since i am a big fan of B movies, is this another great release from a film maker with passion, or is this one release no one needs to remember ?

Sloane ( Kirsten Prout ) and Katie ( Tiera Skovbye ) are very close friends, who decides to go on a trip to the countryside. They are planning to stay in a cabin, as they get picked up by two local boys who will lead the way. Things do not go as they planned, as they are drugged and chained in containers. The local boys are a part of a group of local psychos, who finds new victims by visiting tourists. But what they did not know, is that Sloane and Katie, are 2 girls, who knows how to strike back, harder than anyone expected.

After watching Even Lambs Have Teeth, i have to say that this film mix quite a lot of influences. You have what looks like a teenage film, at the same time there is dark humor in there, with some brutality included. I can´t say i can compare this film with a specific film, though you can feel influences here from both the 80´s and 90´s. What seems to be an ordinary revenge film, changes path at some points. The strange music tunes, mixed with violence, becomes a parody almost. And this is a mix i enjoy, the odd choices thrown together, with a happy summer song playing while the chicks are covered in blood in a pick up truck. The lead actors Kirsten Prout and Tiera Skovbye are both good as the crazy revenge girls, making sure that everyone will pay for their sins. You can sort of feel some Grindhouse vibes in here, but perhaps not as brutal as some of grindhouse films can be. The story may not be anything fresh, and we have seen some similar films in the past, but i feel that director Terry Miles have a good eye for black comedy horror. I have only seen one of his films, in the past. A western film called Dawn Rider with Christian Slater and Donald Sutherland. Let´s just say you can skip that one, and focus on Even Lambs Have Teeth instead. I would not say that this is a film for everyone, because it is odd in some ways. You have to see this film with an open mind, it will make the experience more fun. So is there anything negative ? I would have liked some more crazy unexpected turns, where the girls go even more insane. We do get that in some scenes, but a bit more would have been even more fun. I also feel that the dark humor could have been more twisted, to a different level. Apart from this, i still enjoy this film for what it is. A crazy revenge horror film, with some unexpected funny scenes included. Even Lambs Have Teeth will charm those especially who enjoy independent films, and enjoy crazy characters in odd situations. By the way, check out The Pastor played by Christian Sloan, he is exactly who i would want on my sisters future wedding, insane and wonderful. Did you left the cinema feeling ill after the experience of Independence Day: Resurgance, just like me ? I suggest you buy Even Lambs Have Teeth on dvd instead, it is out in the UK. I will lead a link to the nordic release underneath my rating. I am so pleased we get B movies these days, they at least know what quality is all about.

Rating: DDD

http://www.njutafilms.com/even-lambs-have-teeth/

Independence Day: Resurgence

The 90´s, remember those glorious days of british pop rock albums, awful hair cuts and the latest MTV videos ? I don´t remember how many hours i spent watching Headbanger´s Ball on MTV, but i did enjoy my share of metal, death core and other metal styles. Of course this was the time when action movies also gave me a lot of joy in cinemas. I used to run down to the cinema in Uddevalla ( my hometown ), to get my share of the latest big action film. At some point i got the chance to see some films in bigger cities, like in Gothenburgh or Stockholm, because they would show every single premiere. Let´s go back to the year of 1996. This was the year when brittish pop rock band released their wonderful debut album K, that i still love until this day. This was also the year when Pamela Anderson decided to mix action with naked breasts in Barb Wire, a film that swedish politician Gudrun Schyman would probably want to burn into ashes. But let us focus on one film especially, a science fiction action film called Independence Day. This was one of the biggest box office successes of 1996, and both audiences and film critics worldwide loved the film, with the amazing special effects, the massive action scenes, and all the great actors. Back in 1996, when this film came out, i remember how i told everyone i knew that they had to go and see Independence Day, because it was a damn good film. When the film finally came out on VHS, i bought myself a copy straight away, and i can´t remember how many times i have seen it since then. Director Roland Emmerich was of course well known in the 90´s for his work, especially for the first Universal Soldier film, and for the epic science fiction action adventure Stargate. So you knew he was the right man to take on Independence Day. As we entered the end of the 90´s, and came closer to a new millenium, ( skipping talking about his Godzilla film from 1998 ), Roland Emmerich continued to make big budget action films. The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow, 10.000 BC, 2012, and of course White House Down ( that did not do very well at the box office ). You can tell that director Roland Emmerich have a passion for action, and special effects, ever since his earlier work in the 90´s. So about a year ago, there was some rumors about a sequel to Independence Day, something i did not expect to happen. There have been discussions in the past about this, but nothing ever happened. Then we finally heard that Roland Emmerich would be directing a sequel, and taking some of the actors with him from the first film, i did feel curious. Could he do a sequel, worthy the 90´s classic ? I just had to find out for myself in the cinema. Did we finally get a sequel that everyone was hoping for, or is this sequel not worthy to be a part of such a classic film ?

20 years have passed, since the world defeated aliens, that tried to destroy Earth. The united nations have set up the Earth Space Defense ( ESD ), a global defense and research program, who are set out on different locations on the Moon, on Mars and Rhea. The ESD Headquarters are located at Area 51. On July 2nd, 2016, the whole world is preparing to celebrate 20 years anniversary since they defeated the aliens in 1996. But that happiness is about to change. In Africa, ESD Director David Levinson ( Jeff Goldblum ) meets with Dr. Catherine Marceaux ( Charlotte Gainsbourg ) and warlord Dikembe Umbutu ( Deobia Oparei ). Dikembe shows them inside an alien ship, where they find out that there is a distress call, to the aliens home planet. David knows that this is a bad sign, so he knows that they must act fast. On July 3rd, the ESD base on the moon is attacked, as the aliens are heading towards Earth once again. On July 4th, the alien mothership enters Earth, where they plan to end what they started 20 years ago. But former president Thomas J. Whitmore ( Bill Pullman ) knows that they have to fight back, and have no other way out. A new generation of people, will have to lead the battle this time, no matter what it takes. 

I am that kind of guy who love explosions, science fiction, aliens, laser guns, all the stuff you want at the church on a sunday morning for a great sermon. It takes a lot for me not to enjoy myself in a box office blockbuster, but Independence Day: Resurgence is just too much for me. This is supposed to be a sequel to the 1996 classic, and it fails on so many levels. Considering that the budget is supposed to be around 165 million dollars, you cant see anything unique in the action scenes. The special effects looks old, even the first film looks much better, and it came out 20 years ago. At least we have Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Vivica A. Fox, Judd Hirsch and Brent Spier, back in the cast from the first movie. So that must save this film, right ? No, almost none of the actors from the first film are not even trying to do their characters right. And Will Smith is not even here, so there we have another problem. Since i really enjoyed the first film, i expected director Roland Emmerich to make a sequel, even bigger, more cool than last time, with some unexpected surprises. so what do we get ?

An awful shitty sequel that should not have been made this way, this is the best way i can describe what i have experienced.

I am pissed right now, what the hell were you thinking Roland Emmerich? Considering that you have given us some great films over the years, especially with Stargate and Independence Day, i can´t believe how you decided to do a sequel like this. Did you just stop caring about the importance of the first film, and how it made an impact on millions of people worldwide ? Some films just need to be respected, and if you make a sequel, you have to do it with respect. To be honest, i don´t see any respect here for the first film. There are influences here, that is supposed to be from the first film, but even that fails. So is there anything good to say about this film at all ? I am trying hard to find something good, and the only scene i enjoyed is in the end, with the Alien Queen running around. That´s it ? Yes, i am afraid so. You see, you don´t really care about the characters, or the story itself. The massive action scenes does not even feel interesting, or look that fantastic. To be honest, i have seen much better science fiction action made in a much smaller budget, like the film District 9 by director Neill Blomkamp. It is really good looking, and some really good acting included, on a budget about 30 million dollars. That is a very big difference, towards the budget of Independence Day: Resurgence. With so many great actors on board, with such a big budget, you would think that we would have another classic in our hands. But no, this is one of the worst science fiction action films i have seen in many years. When you notice that Liam Hemsworth and Jeff Goldblum, don´t really care about being in this film, you know it was doomed from the start. I heard rumors about a third film could be made in the future, if you decide to do this Roland, please make things right so we can leave this second film behind us. I want to believe that there is a future for a good Independence Day sequel. But this one is not the one we should remember.  So for everyone worldwide, don´t go and see Independence Day: Resurgence, spend your ticket money on the upcoming Jonah Hill film War Dogs instead. That film actually looks great, so i suggest you wait until that film comes out instead. Or you could just watch the first Independence Day on blu ray again, it will also guarantee you a good time. Just promise to stay away from this sequel. 

Rating: D

God's Not Dead 2

Life is complicated. We seek answers to why we exist and why we are here. Most people would probably say that the bible or the koran have the answers . I personally have a theory who knows everything about our existence. All you have to do is ask Gary Busey, the most intelligent man on our planet. I have had so many wonderful moments listening to Gary Busey, and i have to say that he have all the answers we need. His view of all the big questions of life, is simply outstanding. No matter what we believe in, or what faith we have, we all have our own views. I have visited many different churches, not only in Sweden, but also in other countries in Europe. I will say that a lot of church buildings are very impressive, when you think about architect structure. Every single detail, must have taken a very long time to construct. When it comes to religions all over the world, i have no problem with different beliefs. Besides, we can´t all believe in the same things, so you have to let people decide what they believe. My family is mostly christian, and even if i don´t visit church very often in my personal life, i don´t have a need to dig deeper into certain books. When it comes to films, made about christianity, we have some classics to mention. How about The Ten Commandments, released in 1956 ? With a cast of Charlton Heston, Vincent Price, John Carradine, Ann Baxter and many more, in a majestic production, this is one of those old classics that still works even today. In more recent years, the movie industry have bloomed with films, based on christianity. Some of you might have seen Mel Gibsons film The Passion Of The Christ. It is very disturbing, but a really good film, that showed a completely different image of Jesus, from other film adaptations, made from stories of the bible. It was also an enormous box office success, worldwide. Christian films can be good, if they have a solid message and great acting included. But we do have some bad ones out there. And i would like to take the time to mention at least 2 of them. Have you heard of Left Behind, where Nicolas Cage flies an airplane with passangers who simply vanishes ? Have you heard of Saving Christmas, with Kirk Cameron ? These 2 films shows how you should not do christian films, they are awful in every level. Very bad acting, very bad dialogue and the stories are not even well written. In fact, i mentioned in my review of Saving Christmas, that this is one of the worst films i have ever seen. Here in Sweden, we don´t get to see many christian films in cinemas, and i think one reason is because most films are targeted for american audiences. Take the film God´s Not Dead as an example. A box office hit in America, but not shown in many other countries. So here we are with a sequel, that is supposed to change peoples lives. Do we finally have a really good christian film in our hands, or is this on the same level of Left Behind ?

Grace Wesley ( Melissa Joan Hart ) is a history teacher, and a devoted Christian. She is teaching her students about the Declaration Of Independence. As she talks about the subject, she notice that one of her students named Brooke Thawley ( Hayley Orrantia ), is interested in the bible and begin to seek answers. Her brother died so she in mourning everyday. Grace really care about Brooke, so she begins to talk to her about the bible. Brooke´s parent´s finds out that Grace have talked about this in public school, and is furious. After a student text message his parents, the situation become very serious. Atheist Principal Kinney ( Robin Givens ) reprimand Grace, for her choice to teach this way. The school board decides to bring Grace´s case to the supreme court. Grace decides to stand up for her faith, even if she will loose everything.

Ok, i think it is time that i will speak open about this. I do not mind if a film is made from a christian perspective, a muslim perspective, or a jewish perspective. All i care about is that the film is good, that it is solid enough to make me enjoy it. And this is the problem with God´s Not Dead 2. I can´t really feel that there is a big truth to the justice theme in this film. You see, just because someone sends a text message, and tell someone that your faith is being told in class room, will not lead to a court case. I seriously doubt that, over one text message. In the whole film, you will be told that those who don´t believe in the bible, they will never be happy, or live a good life. I understand that christians want to convert more people to believe in Jesus Christ, but if they honestly think this is the way to do it, perhaps they need to do it in a different way. I have christian friends and i have muslim friends, so i am not against anyone who have faith. This is simply a review on my take of God´s Not Dead 2, without attacking anyone with faith. The biggest problem with this film for me, is that you are supposed to feel sorry for teacher who stands up for her faith, and i can´t feel sorry for her at all. You see, in public schools, teachers who are supposed to teach children, or teenagers, different important subjects, should not mix in their own beliefs in class. Why ? Because in public schools you follow the teachings of class, as they are supposed to be taught. This does not mean anyone who is a christian, should not have faith, or a muslim. They can stay in faith, and believe in anything they believe in. But don´t think you have the right to do so in public schools in classes. If you do this in a religious school, then this would be a completely different situation. The film makers try and make christians look like victims, over a text message, and make this much bigger than what it actually is. The court scenes feels like a daytime soap opera, and you really don´t care about what is going on in court. The acting is what you would expect it to be, and it is not good. Melissa Joan Hart, you might remember her from Sabrina - The Teenage Witch, tries to give us a performance that will touch our hearts. Her performance does not touch me anywhere, it just feels fabricated and without passion. Legendary actor Ray Wise may be the best actor in this film, he gives his character some kind of personality. I have seen some christian films over the years, and i keep noticing that some of the film makers are dealing with the same problem. They want to bring biblical messages into the films, but don´t do it in a good way. Instead, they might try and make you feel that you are a wrong, if you are not a christian. I don´t think this is the way to do it correctly. Tell a story from a christian perspective, but make the story more fascinating, and give the audience an experience so they can discuss afterwards. Left Behind is one example of how you should not do, let´s hope there is no sequel. Director Harold Cronk directed the first film, that included actor Kevin Sorbo, tried to set up a debate between a christian student and an atheist college professor. The message did not give anything surprising, because you are told that atheist people are always wrong. God´s Not Dead 2 may have a different story, but keep the message straight, christians are victims at any moment. I think director Harold Cronk should have tried a different path, just because someone is a christian, does not mean that you have to feel sorry for them. And i can´t say he does a good job with the court scenes. God´s Not Dead 2 will not change my view on christian films in general, i just don´t feel that this film gives anything interesting to the viewer. I would not be surprised if we get a third film, if we do, please someone call in christian Chuck Norris, so he can bring the message of God correctly.

Rating: D

Keanu

As long as i can remember, i have been allergic to cats. I dont mind cats, or try to avoid them. In fact i love all kinds of animals. But when you are allergic to cat fur, and have astma, you don´t really try to cuddle with them. I remember that i used to do that, with my female friend Sharon in Scottland, as her cat Bertie used to lie next to me on the guest bed. Sharon told me that Bertie did not like men, being near Sharon. But for some reason, Bertie accepted me and was cozy. Nowdays we have cats in my family, but in relatives houses. So i don´t get very ill often, because we can meet these family members outside their home, or just bring them to our appartment. Cats can be cute, adorable, funny, and make your day better, no matter what your situation is in ordinary day life. When it comes to films, we have a lot of stories, where animals is the main ingredients. Most of you have probably seen one of the Lassie films, or perhaps you have seen Beethoven ? Of course we have the remake of Dr. Dolittle with Eddie Murphy, where he talked to all kinds of animals. Most films with animals are very entertaining for children all ages, even for some adults. I can admit that i actually enjoyed both Ace Ventura: Pet Detective films, because Jim Carrey was the perfect match for this character, and he also knew how to make animal scenes look really funny. Then there was a third film, that came out in 2009 called Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Jr. A film that i have seen, but don´t remember much about. That would probably say that you should skip it. Having animals in films takes a lot of time to make everything function. A lot of training, preparation and know how to make animals react in a certain way. And since most films with animals are focused on comedy, or in horror films, you usually know what you are going to get. There are some good horror films actually with animals, who have not seen cult film Jaws by director Steven Spielberg ? Simply brilliant, and very well made. Even if the shark is mechanical, it is still in the category of animal horror. Let´s not mention some of the sequels, except that the second one was actually not so bad. About 3 months ago i was reading some new movie reviews online, on new releases. And a title called Keanu came up. What struck me was the idea, of an action comedy with a kitten included. In a way, i had a bad feeling about this. Could this be a trick to get people to buy a ticket, just because they love kittens ? I decided to give the film a chance, even though i was skeptical. Is Keanu a fresh wind in the action comedy genre, or is this even worse than i could have predicted ?

Assassins Smoke Dresden ( Keegan-Michael Key ) and Oil Dresden ( Jordan Peele ), known as the " Allentown Boys", enter a mexican drug cartel, killing everyone, including the boss King Diaz ( Ian Casselberry ). The Allentown Boys take Diaz cat Iglesias, but when the cops arrive at the drug factory, the cat escapes. Rell Williams ( Jordan Peele ) is a stoner, living day by day, with no big future goals. He have just been dumped by his girlfriend. He suddenly finds a kitten outside his door, and since he see no owner, he decides to take care of the kitten. He names it Keanu. Rell´s best friend Clarence Goobril ( Keegan-Michael Key ) is having some time on his own, since his wife Hannah ( Nia Long ) and daughter are going out of town. This gives Rell and Clarence the chance to go out, so they decide to go and watch a Liam Neeson movie at the cinema, because Liam Neeson is all you need. As they return home, Reel´s home have been trashed, and everything is a big mess. But the one thing Reel notice, is that Keanu is missing. They decide to go to the next-door residence weed dealer Hulka ( Will Forte ). Hulka reveal that the local gang, 17th St. Blips, may have raided Rell´s house. He also reveal that they are located at a strip club downtown. Reel and Clarence head down, to try and meet the gang´s leader Cheddar ( Method Man ). They manage to do so, thanks to Hi-C ( Tiffany Haddish ), one of the closest gang members of Cheddar. To make themselves look bad ass, and tough as hell, Rell and Clarence pretend to be 2 rough gangstas, just to try and fit into the gang. Hi-C is skeptical about Reel and Clarence, but they intend to show everyone that they are the toughest gangstas. Their main mission is to get Keanu back, but they have managed to get themself into much bigger problems.

Before i watched Keanu, i have heard some positive feedback from other film critics earlier this spring. Since i only read some of the reviews, and have not even seen a trailer, i did not really know what to expect. I have seen the main actors of Keanue before, Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key, in the sketch comedy television series Key & Peele. Not that i have followed the series much, just seen a couple of episodes. But i did enjoy their chemistry, and i felt that they could deliver some funny scenes. To see them on screen together, doing a film that is a mix of action and comedy, with a kitty included, may not seem like anything good. But once you get into the film, and see what Keanu is all about, you might find yourself having a good time. I think what makes this film a fun combination, is thanks to the director Peter Atencio. I am not sure what films he was inspired doing this film, but you can tell that he must have a passion for the 90´s action comedies. It feels like a throwback to classics of my youth, but with a different approach. As i remember back in the 90´s, we did have some highlights, that combined these 2 genres. Especially one, that you might remember as The Last Boy Sout with Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. It was rough, violent and had a lot of funny scenes. Keanu may not be just like The Last Boy Scout, but the chemistry between Jordan Peele and Alex Rubens works well, and there are some highlights in the film, where they get to show their comedy timing. There is especially one scene, where Keegan-Michael Key tries to act gangsta, so over the top, it is impossible not to laugh. Ana Faris as a drug addicted crazy girl, is also one highlight. She still knows how to deliver in comedy. The car scene, when Keegan-Michael Key explain why George Michael is the real shit, what real gangstas dig. When the gangstas finally start singing one of George Michael hits, you will laugh, trust me. There is no doubt that Keanu is a funny film, and with the plot on the hunt for a kitten makes this film crazy. Director Peter Atencio may not have made an original action comedy, but he have made an entertaining one with some crazy ideas put together. The fascination over George Michael, as if he is bigger than God, is just simply brilliant. If you grew up and enjoyed films like The Last Boy Scout, with bad language and action scenes, you are guaranteed to enjoy Keanu. I never thought i would see a small kitten be in a mix like this, but i have to say it works. Could we have a sequel ? I hope so, because i actually think we need an action comedy duo that have great chemistry on screen. From now on, i am going to sing George Michael in the shower, because thats what real men do.

Rating: DDD

Before I Wake

Most adults dream of having their own family. To have children is a natural process, to make sure that a new generation can help make a better future. I am no father myself, yet, but hopefully i will be at some point. We have many children in the family, so i am keeping myself busy. For some adults, for different reasons, not every woman can have a baby. You would wish that every woman, who wants a baby, should be able to have one. But life is not always fair, sometimes we are faced with a different reality. For those women who are told they can´t have children, life is not over. There are of course other ways to have a child. Like having an adoption, or an orphan. This will never be the same as having your own child, but it can still be a chance to raise a family. To choose to take care of a child, no matter if you adopted or helped on orphan, takes a lot of responsibility. But what if you notice that the child might not be what you expected ? When it comes to films, based on adopted children, or orphans, we have some titles to choose between. But i would like to suggest one film, that surprised me back in 2009. The film is called Orphan, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra. This was actually a well made horror film, with a great performance by Isabelle Fuhrman, as the psychotic orphan Esther. I have actually seen this film more than 5 times since the release, so i can say that it is worth seeing. One detail i enjoyed especially about this film, is the fact that the plot is more complicated than you think, and that Esther have a completely different background. There are of course other films that have managed to tell different stories on orphans, or adoptions. One film, that we don´t really hear much about these days, is the very entertaining Lemony Snicket´s A Series Of Unfortunate Events, the first film based on the 3 books about the Baudelaires siblings. Jim Carrey is absolutely brilliant as Count Olaf, and the film is highly recommended. Too bad they never made 2 more films, based on the books, but at least you can enjoy this one. How many of you remember the 2004 film adaptation of The Punisher ? Thomas Jane, who took over after Dolph Lundgen´s classic performance, proved that he could deliver a solid action performance. He have made some other good films also, especially Stephen King´s The Mist. In recent years however, he did make some bad choices, like the film Drive Hard with John Cusack. I wrote a review on this awful film, so if you want you can find it in my movie review blog. I still think Thomas Jane can be good in films, if he choose the right script. He have released some titles lately, so i came across one film called Before I Wake. Not knowing much at all about the plot, or the film itself, i decided to give this film a chance. Is this horror film better than expected, or is this another main stream release soon to be forgotten ?

Jessie ( Kate Bosworth ) and Mark ( Thomas Jane ), lost their son, in a drowning accident. This awful tragedy have taken their lives in a completely unexpected turn, and they are forced to try and live their lives, as normal as possible. One day, they make a very big decision. They decide to take an orphan child, into their home. They find a boy named Cody ( Jacob Tremblay ), who is ready to find a new family. At first, both Jessie and Mark try to make Cody´s new home as good as possible, and help him with anything he needs. But Cody seems to be a different child, who have a secret within himself that no one knows.

Remember that i mentioned the 2009 film Orphan, earlier in this review? That film had a strong concept, that managed to make the film great, especially thanks to great performances. Before I Wake have a plot that reminds us of other horror films, but that does not have to mean it´s a bad idea. If you know how to use the right tools, it is ok to use classic elements. But there is always one more rule, never use these tools without any passion. This is one of the biggest problems with some horror films today, the passion is not there for the content of the film. And this is one of the biggest issues i have with Before I Wake. What could have been an interesting, is left being pretty ordinary. You don´t feel very interested in the main characters, and the plot is not strong enough to go through the whole film. The story of a couple, who lost their son, and want to try and make a family again, is simply not very interesting. The lead actors Thomas Jane and Kate Bosworth, are both professional actors, when they choose the right characters. Here in Before I Wake, i can´t really say that they try hard enough. I will say that Thomas Jane is at least more solid, when he gets the chance to shine in a few scenes. The child actor Jacob Tremblay does a performance, that feels more interesting than the main characters. Is everything bad ? Actually no. There are some scenes where we get to find some nice details. Like the butterfly scene where this strange creature crawls out, and remind us of The Mothman, combined with other elements. There are also some scenes where we get to understand more, about the foster child Cody. Director Mike Flanagan have directed several horror films over the years, some of you might have seen Absentia or the box office hit Oculus. He does know how to make horror films, but i can´t say that Before I Wake is unique, or bring anything interesting to the audience. I enjoy some of the ideas that are brought in here, but the final production of the film is not strong enough. If director Mike Flanagan would have used some James Wan influences, into the creature, we might have had a completely different film in our hands. Before I Wake is not a bad horror film, but with such a potential plot, and good actors on board, something must have happened along the way. It is like they just did not care enough, and just wanted to make another horror jump scare film. I already heard news about The Conjuring 3, and what the film could be about. At least we have something good to look forward to.

Rating: DD

Sharkansas Womens Prison Massacre

It has been a while since i watched B movies. In fact, this year i have not seen many at all, compares to previous years. So why this change ? Well, very busy this year in my personal life, so you got to try and find some time over, just to sit down and enjoy some lovely cheesy special effects, bad acting and fun dialogue. I am very excited about Sharknado 4 in the end of july, it could be one of the best films of this year, or at least be on the list of best films. I have seen that a lot of B movies have come out, so i might take some time to see some more later on this summer. Sometimes it is just nice to not think, just have fun, and get some classic elements from classic B films. Have you noticed that a lot of films in recent years have been B movies with sharks attacking ? You have 3-Headed Shark, Jurassic Shark, Jersey Shore Shark Attack and many more titles, just the right films for the perfect Thanksgiving Dinner. I can actually recommend 3-Headed Shark Attack, it was much better than the first film, with better special effects and a better story. Cheesy ? Yes, but when you know it is a B movie, cheesy is supposed to be included. There are so many films released every year, that includes sharks, dinosaurs or other creatures attacking humans, so you don´t have to worry about not finding your B movie genre. The cast includes both classic B actors, and also some fresh actors who try and keep these films alive in today´s society. The most important detail when it comes to films in the B genre, is to make it with passion for classic ingredients. If you know what you are doing, and use the right tools, you could please both fans of old classics and also find a new fanbase of a younger generation. Just look how popular Sharknado have become over the years, millions of people have seen all 3 films so far, and i am sure that the 4th film will deliver a really good time. When it comes to choosing a B movie, it can be a bit tricky sometimes. I am happy that some smaller film studios keep the B film industry alive. So while looking around for films that have come out on dvd, i came across a film called Sharkansas Womens Prison Massacre, a title that must have been sent from heaven. This is the kind of title they should be showing at Almedalen 2016 in Sweden, where all the swedish parlament people gather, this is exactly what they need. With a wonderful title, and what seems to be a wonderful plot included, is this the perfect film for the Ernst Kirschteiger audience, or should this film be buried deep underneath the sea ?

When a enviromental accident rips apart the earth´s crust, prehistoric sharks are let out from underground. Detective Kendra Patterson ( Traci Lords ) and Detective Adam ( Corey Landis ) find body parts. Detective Kendra is curious if an alligator could be behind the brutal attack, but Detective Adam belive this must be something completely different behind the attack. A group of women prisoners are being transported, while one of them have planned an escape. But what could have been the way out to freedom, is just about to become a journey to hell.

Let´s get honest here folks. If you hate these kinds of B movies, you are not going to enjoy Sharkansas Womens Prison Massacre. On the other hand, if you love Sharknado and other films with insane combinations with sharks included, you might actually enjoy this one. The idea of prison women fighting sharks, proves that there is still hope for good ideas in the movie industry. We need B films in these times, because we all know that next year the sequel to 50 Shades Of Grey will be here, and you want to jump off a bridge thinking about 50 Shades.....its true. Now, as you watch Skarkansas Women Prison Massacre, you know it is going to be funny, and have dialogue written in 24 minutes, but thats ok. That´s the whole point, and i am ok with that. I will say though that the strenght of this film, is that the shark effects are actually not all bad. In fact, this might be one of the better looking sharks in a B movie like this. And of course, we have legendary actor Traci Lords on board, so you know this is signed quality. The acting may not be very good in general, but this is still better than many of the ordinary releases. The female actors make fun of themselves in a good way, they know how to mix classic B movie elements. You might think that this is a horror film, i would call this more of a comedy horror, because you will laugh more than expected. Don´t expect lots of weapons or body parts flying though, this is more of a traditional old school film, like Eaten Alive with Robert Englund. But instead of a alligator, we have prehistoric sharks included. Director Jim Wynorski is a legendary director, who have directed over 100 B movies, and you have so many titles to choose between. But i would suggest at least 3 of them, that you should see. Chopping Mall, The Return Of The Swamp Thing and Gargoyle: Wings Of Darkness. 3 classic B films from Jim Wynorski´s film cabaret. I have not seen every single one of his films, considering he have directed so many, but a few of them, and some of them have turned out to be fun. It is hard to say if Sharkansas Womens Prison Manager is one of his better films, but i would call it one of his most funniest films. With the silly plot, combined with shark attacks, and funny dialogue, this will guaranteed give you a good time on a beer night with friends. I might travel down to Alabama now, and gear up a boat with a shotgun and a 6 pack of cold ones. You never know if Gordon Klingenschmitt might jump out of the water, with his Bruce Jenner dress. Wait a minute, that actually sounds great.

Rating: DDD

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Guys all over the world, it is time we admit how we were in the late 80´s.

It is time to admit we all had New Kids On The Block LP albums in our bedrooms, dancing all night long to The Right Stuff, using our moms hairspray, trying to look like Jordan Knight. Some people might make fun of us for doing this, but trust me, the love for New Kids On The Block never dies. I can admit i scream like a girl, everytime i hear Please Don´t Go Girl, don´t we all do that ? Yes we do, and we should be proud of ourselves, only real men do this. Boybands have been around for many generations, and it seems that new ones keeps popping up every year. I can´t say i know many nowdays, but back in the good old days, even my father would play Backstreet Boys in his car, at high volume, and headbang through the highway. Boybands make us feel better, and we share our moments of life thanks to them. It is like we just want to throw our shirts off and dance in the rain to As Long As You Love Me, because men love to feel connected. Jonas Brothers used to be the ones to make us scream, nowdays it is more One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer, and all the rest of them. Boybands will live on forever in every generation, so men all ages will scream, cry, and throw up signs for the boy members, just like we did back in the New Kids On The Block. By the way Jordan Knight, if you are reading this, i am still waiting to get my chest signed. Comedians have made fun of boybands in many different ways, both on comedy shows and in comedy films. One of my favourite moments is a scene in the comedy Marci X, when Dr.S do a makeover on the boyband Boyz R Us, singing their song Let´s Wait. The film itself is nothing to remember, but i love this scene. I also love the awful boyband Big Ups, in the comedy film The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. Their cheesy pop sound, dancing awful, you just got to love them. This comedy film is actually a good one, so i suggest you rent it. So what if you were from a very famous boyband, but decide to go solo and became a huge pop star, would you go for it ? In the new mockumentary comedy Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, we get to experience the world of pop music, in a different way than most films. With Saturday Night Live comedian Andy Samberg ( who you perhaps remember in Hot Rod also ), in the lead role, doing a completely different character from his previous work, could this be one of his best comedy films so far ? Or is this perhaps worse than we could have expected ?

From an early age, three boys started their own boyband known as Style Boyz. As they grow up, and continue with their music. Connor ( Andy Samberg ), Owen ( Jorma Taccone ) and Lawrence ( Akika Shcaffer ) are all the original Style Boyz, After making succesfull albums, touring and performing for for fans, they decide to finally split up. Connor have his own plans, he is going to be the biggest pop star in the world, He manage to do so and is ready to launch his next hit album, with a even bigger tour. But after some big problems, with low sales, and personal problems on tour, Connor is beginning to see his future differently. His popstar life is falling apart, and he does not know what to do. Connor´s personal DJ, and close friend Owen ( Jorma Taccone ) have an idea. They should go back and reunite The Style Boyz again, and get old friend Lawrence ( Akiva Schaffer ) to join them since their break up. But is it possible to make it work with The Style Boyz again, after so long being away from each other ?

When it comes to films, that takes on musical acts, or bands, we have a lot to choose between. I am not talking about documentary films, more about films based on bands or artists who can be both fictional or based on true stories. Then we have films that makes fun of the music industry, especially about pop music. And this is where the new comedy mockumentary Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping comes in. A mockumentary that is supposed to make fun of the music industry, with comedian Andy Samberg, known for his comedy acts on Saturnday Night Live, tv comedy sitcom Brooklyn Nine and several comedy films over the years. He also have made several music videos, making fun on pop music, my personal favourite is 3-way with Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga. Since i have been a fan of Andy Samberg for a long time, i was curious to see how he would do a mockumentary about pop music. It has been a long time i have laughed at a comedy, that is stupid but manage to deliver a lot of funny situations. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping manage to make fun of the music industry, and do it in a hilarious way. The popstar known as Connar4Real, really funny played by Andy Samberg, is the kind of popstar we would want on stage worldwide. He is vulgar, a sex machine and perhaps the worst role model for any teenager, and this makes him perfect in every way. The song Not Gay have probably the best message ever, and you have to love the video where artist Pink shows up. There are pretty of funny live performances, inerviews, club scenes, and other footage where we follow Connar4Real, making a fool of himself, but the people seem to love him. But after some problems with his latest album release, he tries to go other ways, and still make a big mess. I love the fact that this mockumentary tries to make the main artist Connar4Real look like a brainless dumb ass, who still manage to keep himself in the media. Andy Sandberg does one of the best performances i have ever seen him do, in a very different comedy. His looks, his personality and his vulgar style, everything fits this character, and this would be the perfect combination for a modern pop star. To see the former Style Boyz fight against each other, try and adjust to the future, gives you a glimpse of how reunions of bands can be like. Nothing is as easy what it seems. We all know how long it took for NKOTB to reunite after their long break up, Style Boyz are going through many changes. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping may not be a masterpiece in any way, or manage to deliver all the way, but the satire is so well put together, you can´t help having a great time. Directors Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone are both members of The Lonely Island, who have been making funny music videos and sketches with Andy Samberg. They know exactly what they are doing with this mockumentary about boyband love. The cameo guests like Mariah Carey, Seal, Nas, and many more, makes this even more fun. There are a few scenes, where they make fun of Hollywood news reporters TMZ ( named differently in this film ), that just don´t work so well. Apart from this, we have one of the funniest comedies i have seen this year. Andy Samberg proves why he is such a great comedian, when he gets to do characters that fit him really tight. Skip the swedish lame comedies that comes out this summer, make sure you laugh instead with Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. I might start my own boyband after this, how about The Pony Boys ? All real men loves to go for a ride, don´t they ?

Rating: DDDD