Dyke Hard

To those who know me personally, they know i have a lot to say about certain swedish films. I am not saying all are bad ( just to make myself clear ), i am simply saying we lack of quality films like other European countries deliver. I still have hope for fresh and young directors, because we need new talents to change the swedish film industry. Look at Denmark, they have done some really good films in the past, and keep delivering quality films. Sweden do make some good films, sometimes, but not as often as we should. Since some directors failed to do something original, i always felt that we need someone who can take us back to the glory days of video violence of the 80´s and 90´s. But we do have a cult film, that never became a hit at the box office, not even a big hit in VHS tapes back in the end of the 90´s. The film is called Evil Ed, and it is one of the best swedish films ever made. Imagine an action horror comedy, with influences of Evil Dead, how can it be wrong ? If you have not seen it, i suggest you buy it on the web site Ginza, great price also. For a long time, i have been hoping that some swedish director would dare to go into the same path as Evil Ed, but do something original. So last year, i came across a trailer for the Stockholm Film Festival 2014. The film is called Dyke Hard, and after i watched the trailer, i fell in love. This is exactly what we needed in swedish cinemas, an action comedy musical, with lots of gay power. I could almost not belive that this was a swedish film, because i did not think we would get something special like this formula. I realised that i had to wait until there was a release date, and i finally got a chance to see it on SF Anytime. With such a wonderful combination of everything that Jehovas Witnesses loves so much, is this the best swedish film since 1997 release Evil Ed ? Or did the trailer promise too much but left us dissapointed ?

4 young students , Riff ( Lina Kurtilla ), Peggy ( Peggy Sands ), Scotty ( Maria Wågensjö ) and Bandito ( Alle Eriksson ) form the metal band Dyke Hard. They have a hit single, and become popular. Until one day, when they notice that the audience is getting smaller each day. Riff have had enough, and leaves the band. Peggy, Scotty and Bandito still keep the band together, even if the future is not looking bright. One morning while having breakfast, Peggy notice a poster that says there is a band competition, where the winner wins 10.000 dollars, and a record deal. They decide to try and enter this competition, even if Riff have left them. Riff is hitchhiking on the highway, when Moira ( Josephine Wilson ) picks her up. She tells Riff that she can help her do a solo career, without Dyke Hard, because she have everything she needs to become a superstar. Dyke Hard find a new band member, thaiboxer Dawn ( Iki Gonzalez Magnusson ). It does not take long, before they all end up in trouble with law, and find themselves in prison. Warden Henderson ( Anitha Nygårds ) will make sure that they stay locked up. Battle Of The Bands is not far away, and Dyke Hard needs to get there in time.

OHHH MYYY GOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dyke Hard is the greatest fucking swedish film for years, maybe even one of the best swedish films ever made. To those critics out there who says i am wrong, piss off. You are stuck in the Colin Nutley swamp, just like the rest of boring swedish bastards who want to live in the 1800 century. Dyke Hard have everything we could wish for, cheesy acting, bad swenglish, bad special effects, and most of all so many crazy scenes, you just want to dance, all the time, anywhere. So what is Dyke Hard ? Let´s just say that this is a tribute to many films, from the old school days of video violence, with a lot of gay influences. Does it make any sense at all ? No, and that is why i love this film. There are so many crazy ideas here put together, that it does not have to make sense, that is the whole point. You might ask yourself, what would Tony Irving say if he watched Dyke Hard ? Let me put it this way, if he thought he was hard before, he will be harder than ever after watching this film. We have so many crazy characters in here, some of my personal favourites are Warden Henderson, you would not want to mess with her. Morgana The Ghost, a musical lesbian ghost, played by legendary erotic TV1000 presenter Ylva Maria Thompson. Buck Blossom, an 80´s stripper who loves a lot of action, played by Alexi Carpentieri. There are plenty of more characters that are worth to mention, especially in the band Dyke Hard, who are all brilliant. Director Bitte Andersson have directed the tv series HallonTV, and Dyke Hard is her first feature film as an director. She is my new hero, she brought us something unique, with combinations from the 80´s and 90´s, and still make it her own style. If you love films made by Troma Films, like Toxic Avenger, you are going to love Dyke Hard. The musical numbers are really funny, and the locations like prison, look so cheesy you just love it. Ninjas ? Cyborgs ? Gay sex ? Everything is here, so this is what makes this one of the greatest swedish films of all time. Dyke Hard should be nominated for best film at Guldbaggegalan 2016. Also an nomination for best director to Bitte Andersson. I feel really proud to swedish right now, Dyke Hard will hopefully be named the greatest swedish classic of all time in history books.

Rating: DDDD