Alienator

For those of you who grew up watching a lot of B movies on VHS in the 80´s and 90´s, we all know we could not get enough of low budget action films. Especially if they combined science fiction and horror influences, with spaceships, made out of paper boxes. I just loved to see fights, where one guy is supposed to be hit by a fist, and you can tell the fist does not even touch the other guy, he gets hit by air instead. Remember all the ninja films ? Those were the good days, where nothing made sense, except that the Ninja was always a deadly weapon. Troma films also delivered a lot of treats, remember the brilliant title Surf Nazis Must Die ? B Movies is the reason we are all alive today, not because of healthy diets or excercise programs. How do i know this ? Just ask Ronny Svensson, Swedens greatest film critic of all time. I am sure he agree with me on this subject. The truth is, if B movies was not around, Stefan Sauk would never have been in Let´s Dance in the first place, i have a feeling he was inspired by films such as American Ninja 3 - Blood Hunt. To pay tribute to B films, i decided to start writing reviews ( sometimes ) on B films we all forgot about, but wanted to see or remember. It depends if people want to read more of these reviews, if they do i will do this again at some point. So i decided to start with a film, released in 1990, called Alienator. I have never seen this film before, only heard about it in the past. From director Fred Olen Ray, who made the cult film Bad Girls From Mars, comes a sci fi action film, that looks just as tough as Lulu Carter´s fish lips. Is Alienator a worthy B film to check out, or is this just a waste of your precious time ?

In space, prisoner Kol ( Ross Hagen ), is about to be executed by Commander ( Jean -Michael Vincent ) and his ship crew. Kol manage to break out, and escape to earth in a spaceship. As he crash lands in a forest area, a group of teenagers led by Rick ( Richard Wiley ) are driving an RV, as Rick suddenly see a man go straight out infront of him. The RV hit the man, they stop to pick him up and decide to take him with them. Meanwhile, out in the forest, Harley ( Hoke Howell ) and Burt ( Fox Harris ), are out to hunt for food, as they manage to capture a rabbit. Just as they are about to take off, Ward Armstrong ( John PhillipLaw ), forest ranger , see what they are up to. He warns them to stop hunting. Rick and his friends head towards Ward´s office to show him the man they accidently hit with the RV. Kol wakes up and tell everyone the story, why he escaped the prison in space. Commander have send Alienator ( Teagon Clive ), to kill Kol on Earth. The battle is just about to begin.

Remember how much you loved the tv show Kär Och Galen on TV4, with Lotta Engberg, letting people getting married in a tv studio ? That same feeling will soon come back as you watch Alienator. This is B movie nostalgia, just as bad as you hoped it would be. In the cast we have legendary actor Jean - Michael Vincent, Joseph Pilato, and Teagen Clive ( we all remember her from the masterpiece Vice Academy Part 2, as BimboCop, right ? ) With a cast like this, full of legends, you know that there is so much quality, you will have a feast guaranteed. Did i say quality ? I guess i did, well, Alienator does have all the ingredients that we are used to see from the early 90´s. You got laser guns, dialogue written in 2 minutes, we even have women dressed in strange outfits with clevage, does that not prove we have quality here ? The plot is just as thick as a ham and cheese sandwich. You know exactly what will happen, well, some things do happen that makes no sense at all, and for that you just got to love sci fi B films. The greatest detail about this film is atually Alienator, played by Teagen Clive. It is hard to describe what the Alienator is, but imagine a mix of Brigitte Nielsen as Red Sonja on LSD and Peter Siepen in fashion style, and you pretty much have ever mans erotic dream. The strongest human character is Col. Coburn ( Leo Gordon ), a bad ass war veteran. Director Fred Olsen Ray, may be most famous for his 80´s classic film Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and he have continued to direct B films, still releasing them even today. Even if you can tell that he may not have had the greatest cast of all time, and a budget on the size of a McDonald´s meal, this is still fun film to watch. With so many cheesy special effects, action scenes that look pretty silly, and acting on the same level as Blondinbellas blog pictures, we do get some entertainment value here. You have to be in the right mood to watch this film. The soundtrack is awsome, with some of the cheesiest synthesizer lines ever. Alienator may not be a really good B film, this is a pretty awful film in many ways, but what makes it fun to watch is all the bad details. You will laugh a lot, when this is supposed to be a serious action sci fi film. You can buy the 4 film dvd package with Alienator on Amazon, and you get 4 B movies in a dvd collection. I bought myself a copy, and so should you, nice to bring back the memories of B films back on dvd, the video violence days. This proves that there was a reason why we became so intelligent. Want to laugh ? Watch Alienator, perfect for a family dinner with your loved ones.

Rating: DDD