2-Headed Shark Attack

When i was a young boy, i was raised to dress properly, you were only allowed to speak in a certain way, because that was the way to be. So, as i got older and hopefully more wiser, i found out that i have missed out a lot on how people really are. One way that helped me become the wonderful man i am today, are my friends who are all movie nerds, and love B movies. You see, if i would have chosen to hang around people who have a lot of money, and live in a certain lifestyle, i would only be depressed. These type of people is something i would call " Östermalm Sliskiga Stereotyper ", the easiest way to describe these people are they are just a pain in the ass. I prefer to be with real people, who don´t have to prove themselves for their paycheck, or if their house is the most expensive one. So for this i have to thank a film company called The Asylum, that have proved that they know what love is all about. Most of you probably have seen a film called Sharknado, a film that is the reason why Staffan Dopping found his life inspiration. If you don´t know who this man is, i can tell you he is one of the biggest legends in Sweden. The Asylum is a company that put out quality films every year, and they know that they will never be respected by big film studios, but that´s ok. Because in the end, it is more important that you give the audience what they want. I am one of those people who will speak the truth, that thanks to B movies, we can all love life even more. Speaking about The Asylum, i have seen many of their films over the years, some are wonderful like Sharknado, while some are alright, and some are really bad. This company have so many films released, you really don´t know what to expect. They seem to love sharks in many different combinations, fighting against monsters, or other sea creatures. And i love the idea of these combinations, because it shows that we have hope for a better world. 2-Headed Shark Attack is one of the films i decided to take a look at, also released from The Asylum, hoping that this would be the next film nominated for best motion picture at the Golden Globe Awards. Is this another great film from The Asylum, or is this one of those films they should not have done at all ?

A group of teenagers are eaten by a 2-headed shark. Meanwhile, a sea ship called Sea King, is cruising out in the sea, filled with college students, who are on board to learn about the ocean. This journey is led by Professor Franklin Babish ( Charlie O´Connell ) and his wife Anne Babish ( Carmen Electra ). When their ship is hit by a dead shark, and ends up being destroyed in the ships propellers, the ship is injured. Luckily, they see an island not far from where they are located, so Professor Franklin decides to take the whole college group to the island, to see if they can find anything useful, until the ship is fixed. But the 2-headed shark is following them, and ready to find more victims.

As you may have noticed, i love B movies if they are so bad that they are entertaining. But then we also have B movies that are bad, but not in a good way. There are some films that are released, who may have great titles, and may sound fun. But once you watch the film, and notice it is not what you expect, you suddenly feel dissapointed. 2-Headed Shark Attack is one of those films that have a great title, but does not deliver as it should. And there are 2 reasons for that. The special effects are really awful, and i really mean that. Sharknado looks fantastic compare to this film, and i loved the idea of a 2 headed shark attacking people. Another problem is that the acting is so bad, that none of the actors are actually acting. They were just paid to show their bodies, say a couple of dialogue scenes, and look like they come right off the cover of Playboy. Carmen Electra is here, and of course she uses her acting talent, and she still sound like a college girl. At the same time, you do get to laugh alot, while watching 2-Headed Shark Attack, because it tries to be serious, and look like a teenage horror film. This combination fails big time, and instead you can only laugh at the results. I know that almost all of the films from The Asylum have bad special effects, so i should not be surprised. But when they don´t even try to make the action scenes look funny, you simply stop caring. The few times that i actually find something to be pleased about, is to hear how bad acting this film have. If one film would prove that young americans sound stupid, this film would be perfect to show that. 2-Headed Shark could have been a great time, with the right feeling for the material. Director Christopher Ray, have directed several films in the B movie category, and i have seen some of his films. This is unfortunately one of his worst films, and i have no choice but to give this film the lowest rating. I was hoping i would enjoy myself with 2-Headed Shark Attack, because i love cheesy shark B movies, if they are made in a funny cheesy way. This film does not give us much at all. I love sharks in great combinations, but this is not the right way to go. I wonder if there will ever be a film called 2-Headed Seagal Attack ? Now that would be a great idea, seeing Steven Seagal waving his hands with 2 heads, taking down russians. Maybe this is something you should look into The Asylum ?

Rating: D