Crystal Lake Memories : The Complete History Of Friday The 13th

If you don´t know who Jason Voorhees is by now, there may be 2 reasons to explain why.

1. You have watched too many episodes of Svt show Intresseklubben.

2. You work as a librarian, and only have seen tv in the year of 1964.

Apart from this, i have a feeling most people know this iconic movie figure is. Growing up in the 80´s, i always loved watching Friday The 13th Movies. Some of them were ok, some of them were not so good, but Jason always delivered some memorable scenes. Ever since the first movie came out in 1980 and became a huge box office hit, fans have stayed along the way to see what Jason does next. Slashing teenagers in New York, and even in space, this guy never seem to die. Crystal Lake Memories is a documentary, almost 7 hours long ( really? yes ), with all the details from every movie since the beginning. This sounds like the perfect documentary, but is this massive documentary way too long to make the viewer pleased ?

In 1980, director Sean S Cunningham released a small budget horror movie called Friday The 13th. It was a massive hit at the box office, and a new legend was born. In this documentary, you get to hear all the details, from almost all of the actors from the movies of every Friday The 13th sequel. Find out how they did some of the most brutal scenes, how the hockey mask was discovered to fit Jason´s character, all the locations where every movie was filmed at. In almost 7 hours you get to hear everything you might ever have thought about the Friday The 13th movies.

A documentary is very different to review, from an ordinary film. You have to look at the content and see if it feels interesting enough as a documentary. When it comes to Crystal Lake Memories, i can tell you that this must have been the toughest documentary i have ever seen. Imagine watching almost 7 hours of interviews, clips, and behind the scenes in these hours. But i can´t say i regret doing this, Because if you love Friday The 13th movies, then this is the ultimate documentary for the movie fans. There is so much here to find out about every movie, it´s amazing they managed to find so many actors to be in so many interviews, and tell all the stories. There are details here that i never thought i would hear, about the cast, about the locations where every movie was filmed, that is very interesting. Corey Feldman is the story teller, along the whole documentary. Even if i am not a big fan of what he does today in the Entertainment business, he does a really good job telling the story from the beginning. There are even scenes shown here from Friday The 13th Part 7, that show us the whole uncut scenes that Paramount destroyed, because they were too violent to show the audience. I could go on forever tell you details about how much you can find out, but i suggest you watch this documentary if you love Friday The 13th. One of the best documentaries ever ? I think we can agree on that for sure.

Rating: DDDD

Sharknado

The Asylum is a company, who make cheap low budget movies, based on classic B movies. They release so many titles every year, they never seem to stop coming up with ideas, and i love that. Yeah the titles are cheesy. special effects are mostly cheesy, but the idea of making B movies come back to life is great. Throw in all kinds of mixture, 2 headed sharks, Nazis in space, Abraham Lincoln killing zombies, yeah they try all kinds of ways to make good quality straight to dvd movies. Did i say quality ? Well, ok, they may not be quality in serious film making, but thats ok, B movies are fun to watch. So you dont have care about the plot, these types of movies are made for fun. Sharknado is one of the titles of The Asylum movies that followed a cult recognition after having 2.1 million viewers on the SyFy Channel. Since the movie was this succesfull, The Asylum managed to get Sharknado a cinema release, in selected cities. Sharknado sold out and filled the cinemas, this surprised many people. Sharks attacking from tornados, is this the best B movie in years, or is this even worse than the plot sounds ?

In Los Angeles, a tornado is coming towards the city. In tv news, people are warned about the situation. Bar owner Finley Shepherd ( Ian Ziering ) see whats going on, and sets out with friends Baz ( Jaason Simmons ) and Nova Clarke ( Cassie Scerbo ), to recue his wife April Wexler ( Tara Reid ) and his teenage daughter Claudia Shepherd ( Aubrey Peeples ). As they try to find a loctaion to be safe, the weather is getting worse, and more sharks are attacking from the sky.

Lets get this straight out. Sharknado is not a masterpiece, but who cares ? This is so bad, i love it. And by this i mean that Sharknado is entertaining. The special effects are cheesy, the acting is nothing you will remember, but this is fun to watch. Sharks coming out of tornados, this movie should have been nominated this year at The Nobel Price Nominations. Overall this is a silly motion picture, but that is the whole point. Sharknado will not be successfull at the Mariestad Sk Segling Club, but i have a feeling if you love this genre you will have a good time. By the way, have anyone seen my Harpoon Gun ? I might need it, someday.

Rating: DDD

Grown Ups 2

In the 90´s i actually liked some of the Adam Sandler movies. Hold on a second, let me read this right, you enjoyed some of Adam Sandler movies ? Yes, when he was funny. Like in Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer among some of the titles. Then in the millenium, he started taking his vulgar comedy on a whole different level. He did try some serious roles like in Punch Drunk Love, and he did do Anger Management with Jack Nicholson. But just a few years later he did Jack And Jill, and after watching this one i felt 2 things.

# Can someone beat the shit out of Mr Sandler ?
# Money was spent to make this shit ?

And of course he also made Grown Ups, with a comedian cast of Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Steve Buscemi and many more. Grown Ups may not have been a great comedy, but at least had some fun scenes, compares to Jack And Jill. And here we are with a sequel, actually the first sequel Adam Sandler have ever done to one of his movies. Is this sequel even better than last time, or is this another turd served from America´s most loudest comedian ever ?

3 years have gone by, and Lenny Feder ( Adam Sandler ) have gone back to Connecticut to his childhood town. One morning as Lenny wakes up in bed, a deer pee in his face, and all over the house. Lenny and his wife Roxanne Chase-Feder ( Salma Hayek ), try to get the deer out of the house, and succeed. Their kids are ready to go to the last day of school. Roxanne begin to talk about having another child, something Lenny does not look forward too. Lennys friends  Eric Lamonsoff  ( Kevin James ), Kurt McKenzie ( Chris Rock ) and Marcus Higgins ( David Spade ) spend some time together, while their kids are busy, to talk about all the great summers they had together. They all have busy days, with so much to do surrounding the kids. but their friendship still stay strong.

While watching Grown Ups 2, i was so sure to hear David Spade shout :- Yes i love when a guy give me anal sex. But this is supposed to be a ( family comedy ), so i guess they did not go all the way. Either way, there are still a lot of vulgar humour, and if you do vulgar humour in the right way ( like Eastbound & Down ), it can be funny as hell. But this kind of vulgar humour in Grown Ups 2, is just as pale as Nils Petter Sundgrens skin. Or let me just explain this in a different way. This is pure shit. Adam Sandler can be funny, but here he is just a fucking turd. Avoid Grown Ups 2, this is a really bad comedy. The dialogue is awful, the acting is awful, i am so fucking tired of shit movies like this.

Rating: D

Pacific Rim

In 2001, i was introduced to a mexican director by the name of Guillermo del Toro. The movie that were screening was The Devils Backbone, a horror story that combined the Spanish Civil War with orphans. At that time i did not know he was the director of the horror movie Mimic, even if i did see that movie when it came out. I suppose i did not care at that point of time, but in 2002, everything changed when he directed Blade 2. To make a sequel even better than the original movie, is not something most directors manage to do. But del Toro did manage, it was actually much better than i ever expected. Moving on 2 years later, del Toro made Hellboy, based on the comic book character. This was actually also a really good movie, not only for the visual part, but also for the screenplay. Ron Perlman was perfect as Hellboy, loud, ignorant, and mean. He returned to the horror genre with The Orphanage, one of my favourite spanish horror movies ever. If you have not seen it, buy it, this is one you have to own. After producing many movies and working on different projects, i suddenly heard he was going to direct Pacific Rim. Not knowing what this was all about, i finally got to see the trailer. Robots fighting monsters ? Is Pacific Rim another classic from this legendary director, or is this genre way out of his league ?

In 2013, the world is invaded by Kaijus: colossal alien beasts from another dimension. To stop these alien beasts, the nation of Pacific Rim build Jaegers, colossal humanoid war machines with enough weapons and strenght to kill Kaijus beasts. Every Jaeger is controlled by 2 people, who have trained for years to become Jaeger pilots. But the Jaeger force is running out, the Kaijus beasts are taking over day by day. In the year 2025, the world have changed much darker and become more vulnerable. Pacific Rim only have 4 remaining Jaegers left, and need to come up with a plan. They are sent to Hong Kong to defend unfortified coast until the wall is completed. Retired pilot Raleigh Bucket ( Charlie Hunnam ) is asked to come back and help Pacific Rim crew, to defeat the Kaijus beasts. He agrees, and is also asked to work with a new pilot Mako Mori ( Rinku Kikuchi ). While they try the new improved Jaeger, something goes terribly wrong, and Mako almost fire a weapon inside the compund. Raeligh´s commanding officer Stacker Pentecost ( Idris Elba ) inform Mako she is not the new pilot to Raleigh, instead he will find someone else to take her place. Raleigh try to convince Stacker to change his mind, that he needs her on the next mission. As Jaegers are send out to defeat an incoming Kaiju beast, they seem to be defeated. Hope is running out of time.

I am in paradise.....

How many times do you get to see these special effects in an action motion picture with so many amazing details ? Some of the battle scenes are some of the coolest massive action sequences for many years, you simply sit there applauding by yourself, even if people think you are nuts. Pacific Rim is every boys wet dream, we get explosions, massive weapons, aliens, everything you need to have an orgasm in 2 minutes. Director Guillermo del Toro proves once again why he is such a legend at making great motion pictures. He gives us fast hitting action sequences that strikes so hard, that Alexander Nilson drops his kitchen knife and hide behind the seat. There are plenty of scenes i can recommend, instead i would say overall this is one of the best action movies of this year. Idris Elba ( who plays Luther on the british tv series ) proves once again why he is an actor of very high quality. I hope he get his own major role in a powerful character in the future, i have a feeling he have much more to give us. Ron Perlman is here also, doing another character that fits his style. Pacific Rim delivers in every possible way this type of action movie can.  Worth buying on blu ray, to make sure you get a great movie night with friends, or family. And the best part is, we get to forget about Colin Nutley while watching this, is that not fantastic ?

Rating: DDDD

Insidious Chapter 2

For those who have read my movie reviews during the years, you might have noticed i am a big fan of director James Wan. He is one of the few very talented horror directors since the Millenium, who have his own style. The Conjuring was a blast, and actually got me scared ( that does not happen very often ). In 2010, i really enjoyed James Wan´s movie Insidious. The plot may have been simple, but it was the content that worked so well. The visual look and the style fit right in together, with some great acting. I did not expect a sequel, at least not yet. But here it is, the second movie of Insidious. The casting is pretty much the same, but is this a better sequel, or is this just another cash in at the box office ?

In the year 1986, a medium named Carl ( Steve Caulter ) is called to help his friend Elise Rainer ( Lin Shaye ). Elise have been contacted by a mother of a young boy, Josh. She have pictures of him, where you can see something is present, haunting him. Elise begin to do her session, by video recording the interviews. While Josh is hypnotized, he suddenly begin to talk to someone, no one else can see. Elaine end the video interview. Moving on to present day. Josh Lambert ( Patrick Wilson ) and his wife Renai Lambert ( Rose Byrne ), have moved to Josh mother Lorraine Lambert ( Barbara Hershey ), together with their 3 sons. They try to move on with their lives after the traumatic events following their haunted home, and hope to make a fresh start. Renai feel that something is not right. That maybe the haunting has not stopped just because they moved away. Josh try and convince his wife that she should try and leave this behind, and focus on the family instead. But then strange things begin to happen again, and a woman in a dress appear. The kids begin to see things also, as Renai realise that the haunting never stopped. Since Elaine is no longer alive, her friend Carl decide to help the family, with the paranormal investigators, that helped the family last time. While they investigate who this woman is, and why she tries to make contact, Carl soon finds out that the truth is more disturbing than he ever could have imagined.

I will say Insidious Chapter 2 have some great moments. And Patrick Wilson still knows how to make a great performance. But this is not as good as the first movie. One of the reasons is that i dont feel this is scary enough, to affect me. Some scenes are very well made, while other scenes feel kind of blend. The story though have some suprising turns, that gives the plot a good explanation of why Josh have been haunted all this time. And the style of James Wan still give us some nice treats along the way. Ok, i am a little disappointed , but overall this is still a pretty good sequel. And the ending proves that we will have a third movie on the way, so i hope we can get more of everything by next time. By the way, check out Elaine´s home in one scene, there are some nice details there that tells you that she might have more stories to tell.

Rating: DDD

Frankenstein´s Army

I love B movies. Without them we would not have The Toxic Avenger or Evil Dead. No matter how low budget some of these classics had at that time, they still deliver great entertainment. In fact, big budget Hollywood box office hits usually borrow influences from classic B movies, so we have alot to thank many directors in this genre. Frankenstein´s Army became one of the most talked about movies at the Tribeca Film Festival in March, so i was very curious about what this might be. Is this World War II Movie mixed with horror a clever combination, or have we seen this all so many times before ?

In the end of World Was II, a group of russian soldiers, go across the border to Germany. They manage to survive an attack and find their way into the woods. They find an old large building, where dead people lie on the ground. But something seems to be very wrong. They find a body of a creature, that does not look human at all. Trying to find answers of what is going on, they enter the building. This may be the biggest mistake of their lives.

Frankenstein´s Army is made in the found footage horror genre, so if you dont like this style, you might as well skip this one. But listen first, this is actually not that bad. This is a mix of the video games you all know, Wolfenstein and Bioshock, with lots of butcher scenes included. I really like the concept director Richard Raaphorst tries to bring to the screen. This is a very odd mix of nazi soldiers, created as warriors with strange weapons and they are ugly as hell. And to bring in a Frankenstein story into this story with nazis is a fun idea. The acting is not on a top level, but honestly this is still fun enough too laugh about. The special effects are cheesy, but fun to watch. Frankenstein´s Army is not a future classic in the B movies genre, but worth checking out if you love this genre. I feel like shooting some nazi monsters right now, who wants to go with me ?

Rating: DDD

We´re The Millers

From tv series Friends, to romantic comedies, Jennifer Ansiston have kept her roots along the way. The only time i have seen her do something different, was in the year 2002, with the motion picture The Good Girl. And let´s not forget the thriller Derailed, by Swedish director Mikael Håfsröm. Somehow she seems to prefer make the same type of Aniston movie, where she falls in love and meet a great guy. And this is one of the problems i have with her choices, if you make the same type of movie too often, it will get boring. The plots may be different, but the message is the same. But maybe this is about to change with her latest box office hit We´re The Millers ? Jennifer Ansiton as a stripper, is this exactly what her career needed, or are we back to the same basics?

David Clark ( Jason Suedikis ) is a drug dealer, making cash by selling good quality marijuana. One evening while helping his neighbor Kenny Rossmore ( Will Poulter ) in a fight. David is badly beaten, and the guys steal all his money and his drugs. David is furious at Kenny, because he needs to get the Money back, or his drug lord Brad Gurdlinger ( Ed Helms ) will kill him. At least that is what David think, until he meets Brad. It turns out David might solve this problem anyway, if he helps Brad smuggle marijuana from Mexico. If David does this job, he will get paid well and will be forgiven for the lost drugs. David realise that he have to find a way to smuggle the drugs, without being caught. Suddenly he come up with an idea. What if he can put together a fake family, driving an RV, like an ordinary family across Mexico, no one can be suspicious about that ? He asks local stripper Rose O´Reily ( Jennifer Aniston ) if she can be his wife, and get paid well for the job. She is not happy about the idea, but since she is about to be evicted from her appartment, she agree to go along. Kenny is on, and he knows someone who can be his fake sister, Casey Mathis ( Emma Roberts ). She is a runaway girl, with many problems, but she agree to go along for the money. Everything seems to be going well, the fake family heads to do Mexico. David arrange to pick up the marijuana, and drives away thinking Everything is going as planned. But mexican drug lord Pablo Chacon ( Tomer Sisley ) finds out they have his drugs, without permission.

Finally we get to see a comedy where no one respects each other. And the vulgar language fits the concept of this fake family, as we follow them on this crazy journey. We´re The Millers may not be a classic, but if you just want a good laugh it actually works. Jennifer Aniston does what she usually do, act the only way she know how to do. At least she is not bad. But check out Will Poulter, he is really good as the virgin Kenny, who will do anything someone tells him to do. Emma Roberts shows a different side of her acting skills, making this runaway girl a likeable character. The only problem i have with We´re The Millers, is that this is too long, almost 2 hours. Some scenes did not need to fill in the empty spots. But overall a funny motion picture, especially for those who want to forget Jennifer Anistons performance in Just Go With It.

Rating: DDD

This Is The End

In december 2012, people actually believed the world would end. You might think i am kidding with you, but this is true. Especially religious fanatics, they kept saying that this is the end of human kind. I wonder if they did take their medicines for their mental problems? Probably not. You might remember Roland Emerich´s movie 2012 with John Cusack, where he tried to survive while the world was being drestroyed. This Is The End is kind of the same type of premise, but this is a comedy, with some of the biggest comedy stars you can get together in one motion picture. Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, and the list goes on. With a dream cast like this, set on the final days of earth, is this finally a comedy that get the party started, or leave you with a sour taste ?

Seth Rogen meets Jay Baruchel at the Los Angeles Airport. 2 friends ready to have a great time together with video games and smoking weed. Seth and Jay are invited to a party at James Franco´s house, with superstars like Rhianna, Michael Cera and Emma Watson e t c. The party starts off great, and everyone is having a great time. While Seth and Jay head off to buy cigarettes, something really strange happends. Blue lights from the sky suck up people, while panic is spreading the streets. Seth and Jay head back, to continue the party. But after a while everything is about to change. The ground opens up and people fall down, streets are on fire, and chaos is seen everywhere. The few survivors that manage to barricade themselves in James Franco´s house, try to survive together. What is going on, and what does these blue lights mean ?

I love vulgar comedies, if they have something that appeal me. This Is The End have some of the most funniest fucking scenes i have seen in a very long time. It is almost like Eastbound & Down Goes Apocalyptic, where everything goes terribly wrong. And the fact that every actor play themselves makes this even more fun, especially Danny McBride. He gives everyone a Bitch Slap, in the best possible way he can, and i cant stop laughing when he have screen time. One of the best comedy actors ever, if you have not seen any season of Eastbound & Down, you seriously need to go rent it, or even buy every season. The rest of the cast deliver many memorable scenes, like when Jay tries to sleep, when Seth and Jonah join Jay in bed, to face their dicks next to each others ass, because that is the best thing to do. There are plenty of more scenes you will love. Directors Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg find a great balance to joke about Hollywood actors, and their lifestyle, and still bring some fresh ideas. If you love Swedish tv show Intresseklubben, you are going to hate this. But if you want a great time, and dont give a shit about the plot, This Is The End will make sure you have a blast.

Rating: DDDD