måndag 31 december 2012

Happy New Year, and what movie is the best of 2012 ?

Thank you so much all my readers of Daniels Super Sexy Movie Reviews :). I love to write and to see that i get visitors from all over the world :) I will continue posting reviews all next year, and i hope you will continue reading my reviews in the future :). Now, this is very hard, best movie of 2012 ? There have been many really good movies. Some awful ones of course, but one movie is very close to my heart. And the winner for this years best movie is:

The Expendables 2

Why ? There was not one movie that came out in 2012 that could beat this one for many reasons. Biggest cast list ever, one of the best action movies in a very long time, and how often do you get to laugh too that many cheesy lines as The Expendables 2 had ? It was the perfect cinema experience, and a perfect blu ray experience, i suggest you buy this one.

Have a great new year, and i will see you in here soon again :)

V/H/S

When i was 14 years old, me and my best friends started collecting VHS movies. We bought VHS movies, and of course recorded movies on different movie channels. I still keep some of the VHS movies i bought many years ago, they are nostalgic, and some are very hard to find. Nowdays when the technology have become so much better, VHS tapes are ancient history. And the quality of course is a big difference. After so many documentary horror movies come out, V/H/S looks different, made into 6 stories. Do we finally have a horror movie that dares to try a different style, or is this not what we expected at all ?

Tape 56

A group of young criminals, try and find new ways of upgrade their crimes. They enter a house in hope to find a certain VHS tape. In a room filled with tv´s, an old man is dead. The young men begin to watch some of the VHS tapes, but the content is something they could never have imagined.

Amateur Night

3 guys go out to get laid, and to party. They manage to bring 2 girls with them to their hotel room. But what begins as a threesome, is not turning out what anyone of them planned.

Second Honeymoon

Sam and Stephanie, a married couple, go out on a second honeymoon, to travel through the west, visiting a Wild West theme park also. Everything is going great, until a strange woman knocks on their hotel door. Who is she, and what does she want ?

Tuesday the 17th

4 young people travel on a camping trip. One of the girls, Wendy, tells her friends about what happened at this lake a year ago, when she was the only survivor of the brutal murders of her friends. Since they don´t care about Wendy´s words, the rest of the friends party on smoking pot. But as the party goes on, something strange is happening in the woods.

The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger

Emily is video chatting to her doctor-to-be-boyfriend, James. She tell James about strange noises in her appartment, and try to show him at night, by filming a young boy who seems to come back for a reason. As Emily begin filming to show James online, more bizarre events are about to come.

10/31/98

4 guys dress up to a Halloween party. As they arrive to the house, where the Halloween party is supposed to be, the house is empty. But as soon as they check around, they realise that there might be someone else in here.


The best part about V/H/S is that they have tried to make this, as a Twilight Zone concept, done in a documentary way. And i like that. Since so many movies have followed the Paranormal Activity genre, its great to see a different perspective, by telling different stories in almost 2 hours. The stories have different quality, but this is nicely put together as a puzzle, as you begin to understand what this is all about. My only problem with V/H/S is that some of the actors, are not very impressive. They may become actors in the future, who knows, but some of them are not really good. Thankfully V/H/S is a good example of film making, when you try something different. And for that i have to give the 6 directors of these stories, a big applaude. V/H/S may not be ground breaking in any way, but if you like a different approach on horror, this may work for you if you have an open mind.

Rating: DDD

fredag 28 december 2012

Resident Evil: Retribution

The video game industry is enormous, so how do you keep the fans of certain video games interested, in a different perspective ? Easy, you make a movie version, based on the video game. Resident Evil is one example. When the first movie, based on the video game, came out in 2002, it became a box office hit. Director Paul W.S. Anderson tried to bring the video game to a cinematic experience, and did a pretty good job. 4 more Resident Evil movies have came out since 2002, with very different results. Resident Evil: Retribution is the 5th movie in order, and director Paul W.S. Anderson is once again back as a director, does the concept of the video game still work, or is this a lazy excuse just to please game freaks ?

Alice ( Milla Jovovich ) wakes up as a housewife, living with her husband Ted ( Oded Fehr ), and her death daughter Becky ( Aryana Engineer ). But chaos strikes their neighbourhood, as zombies attack their house, and kill Ted. Alice and Becky escape from their house, and are rescued by Rain Ocampo ( Michelle Rodriguez ). Unfortunately the car crashes, Alice manage to survive with her daughter, but suddenly is attacked by her dead husband Ted. Alice wakes up again, now in the headquarters of Umbrella base. Here Alice is interrogated by Jill Valentine ( Sinenna Guillory ), without any result. Suddenly a power failure strikes the building, and Alice manage to escape. She finds her way into a Tokyo simulation, where she manage to survive. She meets Ada Wong ( Li Bingbing ), who wants to help Alice find a way out of the Umbrella base. But the Red Queen is planning to stop Alice from succeeding.

I have to be honest. This is so far the worst of the Resident Evil movies, but is it awful ? In some details, yes, but what saves Resident Evil: Retribution from falling deep, are the massive action scenes. There is a lot of action, so you wont be bored. The story itself is not an improvment, somwhere along the way director Paul W.S Anderson put all the effort on the action, and left the script next to his lunch. But let´s think for a minute, is this a movie made for a good script ? Not really, Resident Evil is supposed to be overthrown with violence and massive guns, and of course Milla Jovovich in leather outfits. So, all together, if you love this type of video game action, you will enjoy this one for sure. A 6th movie is coming, but they really need to improve some details, or we might get fed up.

Rating: DDD

tisdag 25 december 2012

The Baytown Outlaws

Around the 60´s, and into the 70´s, the movie industry delivered a lot of biker action movies. Ever since Easy Rider took the world by storm, bikers became a trend that stayed for many years, and then disappeared . When the 80´s arrived, times have changed for a new cinema audience. Some smaller productions came along, but it was not until 1991 when Stone Cold hit cinema we experienced massive action with bikers. Wrestler Brian Bosworth tried to bring back the classic genre, but the audience did not care. In 2008, Quentin Tarantino was one of the producers of the bike action movie Hellride, but even with a cast of Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper, the movie flopped. The timing of the new biker movie The Baytown Outlaws may not be perfect, but maybe this is just what we need? Or is this a desperate try to bring fans of Tarantino to fall for the concept ?

In Alabama, 3 brothers, Brick Oodie ( Clayne Crawford ), Lincoln Oodie ( Daniel Cudmore ), and McQueen Oodie ( Travis Fimell ), work as vigilantes for the town Sheriff Henry Millard ( Andre Braugher. As they carry out a mission, to eliminate a wanted person, the fail and kill the wrong people. Desperate to get money, the accept a mission by a mother named Celeste ( Eva Longoria ). She witnessed their latest job, and feel they are perfect to hire. She needs to get her godson Rob back from drug lord Carlos ( Billy Bob Thornton ), godfather of Rob. The Oodie brothers accepts the mission, they manage to get the job done, but this is just the beginning of bigger problems. Carlos send out his best assassins to get Rob back, no matter what the price is, or how many dies, there is nothing that will stop him.

Yeeehaaaaw. I just thought of Sam Elliot in Road House, because this is exactly what you are going to get. Macho action on a Texas level, just as big as Patrick Swayzes fists in Roadhouse. Mix this together with Hellride, Death Proof and a bit of The Dukes Of Hazzard, and you got the perfect hillbilly movie, for all of you who love bikes, big guns and girls with tight asses. The script is nothing special, but i honestly don´t care. This is a hell of a fun movie, with a lot of funny scenes, mixed with hard pumping action, just like the old school days of video violence on vhs. Billy Bob Thornton may not do his best role, but he fits perfect as the drug lord Carlos, mean and a tough bastard. I have never heard of director Barry Battles earlier, but with this movie i get the feeling we have a talent to bring back video violence back to the big screen, when so many desperate directors just try to follow the latest trends. The Baytown Outlaws may not be the perfect movie for a big audience, but for us who appreciate this genre, prepare yourself for a really good time.

Rating: DDDD

söndag 23 december 2012

Silent Night

Christmas time is the jolly time of year, lots of food, lots of snow, a season most people enjoy. Let´s not forget Santa Clause, that children all over the world look forward to. But what if there is a different message about christmas, that we may not see very often ? Maybe christmas is not all about happiness, but more about misery,  pain and death ? Silent Night ( loosely based on the 1984 movie Silent Night, Deadly Night ) wants to make us see a different side of this holiday. Is this the perfect christmas i have always dreamed about, or is this a christmas eve you would rather forget for many reasons ?

Small town deputy officer Aubrey Bradimore ( Jamie King ) is out on patrol. She receive a call, about a bad smelling home in a calm family neighbourhood. As she arrives, a dead body have been cut into pieces, and another body executed in an electric designed chair. Sheriff James Cooper ( Malcolm McDowell ) promise Aubrey that this sick person will be punished. More dead bodies are found all over town, but who is behind all of these insane murders ?

You know, this is actually my kind of christmas movie. No cute christmas songs, no cute family pictures, instead we get some fleshy fun scenes, where body parts fly off, or simply get their bodies badly wounded. The concept have been made before in the 1984 version, but thankfully director Steven C. Miller tries some new strings, to make sure this updated version keeps the audience pleased. Even if Silent Night is a very simple horror movie on surface, this is a nice tribute to the 80´s slasher movies. And to see Malcolm McDowell on screen once again is a privelage. Silent Night can be bought on dvd in America, so far. It will arrive in Europe soon, but i suggest it´s worth buying yourself a copy, support movies makers with a good taste of nostalgia.

Rating: DDD

onsdag 19 december 2012

Safety Not Guaranteed

Imagine you are reading a magazine, and you notice an ad with the following words:

"Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before."

This actually happened in 1997, in Backwood Home Magazine. When i read that a movie was going to be made out of this article, i became very curious. Finally a true original story on screen. Nowdays we dont get many original stories made into motion pictures, and we also have Aubrey Plaza, from one of my favourite comedy tv series Parks & Recreation. Do we finally have a movie worth the attention from film festivals, or is the hype way too big to be true ?

A strange ad is found in Backwood Home Magazine. One of the magazine writers Jeff Schwensen ( Jake Johnson ), who decide to investigate the person behind this add. He goes on a road tripp with college graduate Darius Bratt ( Aubrey Plaza ) and Arnou ( Karan Soni ). They locate the man behind the ad, Kenneth Calloway ( Mark Duplass ). Darius approach Kenneth to show interest in the ad. If Darius does well on Kenneth´s tests, she might be chosen to go with him on a time travel. Is this all completely insane, or is Kenneth really who he says he is ?

Safety Not Guaranteed is one of the best comedies of 2012. This type of comedy fits perfect on me, strange ideas mixed with a touch of dark humour, with some really funny surprises along the way. Jake Johnson is hilarious as the magazine writer, who goes on this journey, mostly to try and get a blow job from a girl he had sex with, many years ago. As usual Aubrey Plaza does hes odd personality, and deliver some unforgettable lines, the way only she can do. The story itself is actually really clever put together, since this movie is only based on the magazine add. Director Colin Trevorrow have made one of the best movies of 2012. The budget is almost nothing, but this is so much better than most 200 million dollar budget box office hits. I feel ashamed that Sweden never gave this movie a chance to find audience in cinema, this is exactly what we need on a big screen. Most people will think this is a movie for nerds, and in some ways it is. But who cares ? This is really good entertainment, especially for all of you who are fed up with college movies, with the same storyline. Safety Not Guaranteed have something for everyone, i suggest you buy this one, it´s worth it.

Rating: DDDD

lördag 15 december 2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

If you have not seen at least one of The Lord Of The Rings movies, there must be 2 reasons for that.

1. You are a twilight fan
2. You have not watched a movie since 1950

Because this is something you have to do before you die. Hopefully you watch all 3 of the movies, because they are all simply brilliant in different ways. Peter Jackson´s movie trilogy gave us a completely fantastic view of the classic books. And who can forget when The Return Of The King completely won every oscar statue in 2003, that was magical. So, when Peter Jackson left this magic trilogy, a lot of people were curious how he would continue after this. His version of King Kong was actually pretty good, but The Loved Ones, the movie that could have been spectacular, had some problems. Now, mr Jackson is back, to tell how it all begun with Bilbo. Considering how good the 3 movies were earlier, is Hobbit another classic, or is the magic lost along the way ?

Bilbo Baggins ( Ian Holm ) begins to write down the story, about the journey he did 60 years ago. Everything begins when Bilbo ( Martin Freeman as the younger Bilbo ) is tricked by Gandalf ( Ian McKellen ) to invite Thorin ( Richard Armitage ) and his dwarfs army. Gandalf wants Bilbo to go with them, to help the dwarfs steal back their treasure from Smaug. Not sure if he wants to go along, Bilbo changes his mind. Travelling together towards the Lonely Mountain, they will have to face fear in many different ways. A long time ago, father of Thorin was killed by Azog, but Thorin survived the battle. Now Azog wants Thorin dead, as he and his orch army go out to find him, Thorin prepare himself for battle with his new friends close to him.

I watched The Hobbit in 3D, and i have to say, i was surprised how much 3D effects have improved since i watch Thor in 3D, that was a big let down compare to this. you have alot of cool details along the way, both in the battle scenes, where it feels like you are close, and in the fantastic landscapes with bugs flying out of the screen. But what about the movie, is it any good ? Yes indeed, The Hobbit is a entertaining start of the new trilogy, but honestly not as good as the previous movies. Maybe one reason is most of the actors are not as good as Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood ( who is in a scene, for about 2 minutes ), Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom e t c. The new cast does a decent job, but their personalities does not give a strong impact. But if we look at the story itself, The Hobbit: An unexpected Journey, is a very well made movie, with a lot of work behind the special effects, some scenes are really beautiful, just like in the previous movies. It´s not as good as the previous ones, but still a great start of the new trilogy about Bilbo. Definitely worth to watch with the whole family now when christmas is almost here. You will have a good time, i know i did. And of course Christopher Lee is here as Saruman, this is acting on a very high level, not many can deliver, except for mr Lee.

Rating: DDDD

torsdag 13 december 2012

Soldier Of Vengeance

There used to be a time when Steven Seagal were one of the biggest action stars. In the beginning of the 90´s he had some big box office hits. But times have changed. Now he is much older, who looks like a marshmallow man, who can barely jump anymore. And for every year we get a new action movie, released on dvd. Of all releases in the past 6 years, there have been at least 1 movie that was ok. Seagal have been on the tv series True Justice lately, and this movie is supposed to be based on 2 episodes from the tv series. So, is this a surprise, or the same old business ?

Elijah Kane ( Steven Seagal ) leaves his special undercover police force, to go back as a Special Forces operative. Kane is once again recruited by the goverment, to work for them as a long range sniper specialist. Armed, and furious, he is ready to bring justice where it belongs.

I don´t know if you heard Steven Seagals 2 pop albums, but i bet he is a better musician than an actor. In fact, when Seagal gets screen time, you wonder if he will ever change. He wants too look cool, and try and make special moves, but with no results. Is there action ? Yes, but the action scenes are made of a budget, about the size of Donald Trump´s hairpiece. The story ? Is there actually a story ? Not really, this is very simple action made for mommy boys, still living at home at the age of 39. Seagal will make movies like this for at least 22 years more, so if you love his cheesy moves, then this might give you an orgasm. For the rest of us, i suggest we watch The Expendables instead, and enjoy some real action, just the way it was meant to be.

Rating: D

tisdag 11 december 2012

Total Recall

Arnold Schwarznegger is a legend. For his acting ? Not really....hum hum, but hey, he knows how to make good action. Have he ever done a movie where he actually did a decent acting job ? Actually, yes. If you have seen the sci fi action classic movie Total Recall from 1990, i think you might agree that Schwarznegger did a good job. This is one of director Paul Verhoven´s best motion pictures, and an icon movie in the sci fi genre for some very original ideas. Now 22 years later we have a remake, and since it has taken a long time to make a remake, you might wonder if this is a worthy remake to such a classic movie ? This time around we have Colin Farrell on board as Douglas Quaid, but does it matter we have a good actor, or is this fresh update of Total Recall doomed to fail ?

World War 3 devastated earth, where only 2 parts of the world are habitable. United Federation of Britain and the Colony ( Australia ). Society is a mess, where people are trying to survive. Factory worker Douglas Quaid ( Colin Farrell ) is happily married to Lori ( Kate Beckinsale ). For quite some time, he have been curious to try Rekall, a company that implants artificial memories. Douglas locate Rekall, as he meets Rekall employee McClane ( John Cho ). McClane suggest he choose to be implated with a memory of a secret agent. Douglas agree, and the process begin. While checking Douglas history on screen, McClane notice something is wrong. Douglas have real memories of being a spy, as a SWAT team storms the building. Douglas manage to survive, but what happened ? Is this just an artificial memory, or reality ? As he go back home to meet wife Lori, he is attacked by her. Nothing is what it seems, Douglas is now considered a fugitve and very dangerous. Is he really a secret agent in real life, or is this all just a dream?

First thing first. The remake of Total Recall is nowhere near as good as the original movie. Is this still a fun ride ? Yes, for the most part. When it comes to action, Total Recall deliver a lot of stylish action, where you both get some classic elements and some fresh details. One problem i have is Colin Farrell, i usually love his acting, but here it feels like he lost his way. But don´t worry, this is an elegant action movie, packed with some really cool technical scenes. So even if Colin is not at the highlight of his career, Total Recall gives the audience a good time. I was kind of hoping that Peter Stormare would show up as a russian ganster, that would have been a fun detail in this crazy world of survivors.

Rating: DDD

The Bourne Legacy

I really enjoyed the 3 Jason Bourne movies with Matt Damon. Intelligent action thrillers with a lot to say, and the best part was, the sequels were better than the original movie, that does not happen very often. Matt Damon is no longer Jason Bourne, but it looks like Bourne series have chance to continue, with the character Jason Bourne included, but now with a new character, Alex Cross. Without Matt Damon on board, is The Bourne Legacy a worthy sequel to a very good film series, or a big let down?

Alex Cross ( Jeremy Renner ) is a member of Operation Outcome. He is send to Alaska on a training assignment. He is told to survive certain activities in the rough weather conditions. Alex arrives to a cabin operated by Number Three, an exiled Outcome Operative, who inform Alex about what is going on, and when he needs to leave. Just as Alex is ready to head off into the forest, a strange noise is coming from the trees. A missile hits the cabin, killing Number Three. This is no coincidence , someone wanted Alex dead. Former U.S. Air Force colonel Eric Bryer ( Edward Norton ), have accepted a mission from CIA director Ezra Kramer ( Scott Glenn ),  to kill all the agents out in Operation Outcome, because there is a risk secret informtion may be revealed, that would be a disaster. Alex is now on his own, and have to find a way out.


Even if The Bourne Legacy is not as good as the previous 3 Bourne movies, this is still a good action thriller for us who likes this genre. Jeremy Renner makes a good first impression as Alex Cross, both hard hitting and knows how to deliver good acting. I have a feeling this is a good start on the new Bourne stories, that something even better is about to come in the next sequel. Not much too complain about, this is exactly what your dad wants to watch after a football game and enjoy an ice cold beer. Let´s not forget that legendary actor Stacy Keach is here also, great to see him still going strong, even if he has aged.

Rating: DDD

onsdag 5 december 2012

The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2

I still can´t belive how big Twilight is. Twilight is like one of the biggest movie hits of all time, and i still don´t understand why. Is this a virus that was spread out from a medical company, so all girls and women got infected, and was forced to love this ? That sounds pretty believable, but hold on, maybe Breaking Dawn Part 2 will change my mind. Maybe this is the movie of the Twilight Saga that will show me why this is so good. Is it the best movie yet from Twilight Saga, or is this still what i could imagine it would be ?

Bella wakes up as a vampire
Carlise monitor Renesmee grow
Aro feels Renesmee poses a risk
Jacob never change his hairstyle

Alrighty then, i gave you alot of details here.

You know, so many scientist and different cultures talk about the worlds end is coming. My opinion is, the end of the world begun when Twilight came in 2008. Honestly, if Twilight was never made into movies from the author Stephenie Meyer, we might have been able to save the world. Now, it is too late. Thankfully The Twilight Saga is over, for now. There are rumours about rebooting the series. What do i feel about this ? Just about as exciting as seeing Kikki Danielsson in a g string, i think that says it all. Is Breaking Dawn Part 2 any better than Part 1 ? Yes, 2 %, but that does not matter, this is still worthless. The only positive part is the final action scene, but does it make this a good movie ? Not in any way, this is still shit. I know this will be one of the biggest movie box office hits of 2012, but i honestly dont care. Twilight will forever be a turd, in every possible way. And best part is, no more Taylor Lautner without a shirt, holy shit....i actually have something to be happy about.

Rating: D