I promised to lay out a list of the 5 worst movies of 2011. So are you ready? This is my own opinions, so if you dont agree, your problem. Here we go:
1. Änglagård Tredje Gången Gilt
Of all the movies that came out this year, i felt so sick watching this piece of shit. Nothing works, no real acting, the story makes no sense. So why the hell did Svensk Filmindustri lay all that money out on this project? No, i had enough, send Colin Nutley home to England, we dont want his fucking movies here anymore.
2. Something Borrowed
Will someone stop Kate Hudson from making movies like this? This is another worthless romantic movie, made with absolutely no intelligence at all. Nothing is funny, nothing is cute, its just pure shit.
3. The Brazen Bull
I respect Michael Madsen as an actor, he has made some classic movie roles. But nowdays he usually ends up in really bad c movies. The Brazen Bull is honestly one of his worst movies ever, where he torture people. What the fuck happened Michael Madsen? Stop doing this to yourself, you deserve to be in a real project, not anything as low as this.
4. Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1
Twilight fans adore these stories. I ask myself why. Is it because of the love story? Yes, i guess so. But i honestly dont care, theres nothing good about Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1. Its just so boring, im just wondering if it will ever end. And for god sake Taylor Lautner, put a shirt on, or i will have to beat your ass.
5. Hellraiser: Revelations
I was looking forward to a new fresh start of Hellraiser. Oh man i was wrong. Hellraiser: Revelations is a extremely low budget project, not worth the respect from Clive Barke´s original work. Its a shame someone more talented didnt take this into their hands, now were left with nothing except a terrible slasher.
There you go folks, my top 5 of the worst movies of 2011. I will be posting new movie reviews next week, so keep your eyes open.
lördag 31 december 2011
fredag 30 december 2011
Happy New Bizkit Year
Yes, 2011 is coming to and end. We had some memorable movies out over this year, we can look back and remember some of the highlights, and those movies wich....sucked ass. So tomorrow im having a top 5 of the worts movies of 2011, i love doing that since every other movie reviewer is doing Best Movies Of 2011. So keep your eyes open, and check it out tomorrow. And remember, bring Gold Cobra to the New Years eve party, maximum volume, and just go nuts. Lets all look forward to 2012. Will i bring more movie reviews soon? You know i will.....
Crazy Stuped Love
For those who know my personality, im not a romantic casanova. Im terrible at coming up with ideas for romance, to make things simple, a romantic evening for me would be watching the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 2003, with a Big Bite pizza from Biteline. So what do you say ladies, doesnt this sound super nice? So just imagine how much enjoy romantic comedies......But actually, i can enjoy some, if they actually are funny and have a intelligent script. With an incredible cast, Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon, does Crazy Stuped Love deliver anything outside the usual romace package?
Cal Weaver ( Steve Carell ) have been married for over 20 years with his wife Emily Weaver ( Julianne Moore ). One evening while having dinner downtown, Emily tells Cal she wants a divorce. Shocked and confused, Cal is about to find out, she also slept with a working friend called David Lindhagen ( Kevin Bacon ). Cal leaves his cheating wife, and his kids, to get a new start. While depressed in a bar, he meets ladies man Jacob Palmer ( Ryan Gosling ). Jacob see how depressed Cal is over the situation, and makes a deal, he will help him become a new man. After some hard training, Cal finally gets it, that even he can be attractive to other women. But is this really what he wants`?
Crazy Stuped Love is suprisingly funny, it brings up all those things we all think about, do i need to change? Am i really happy with my life? And the biggest suprise is actually Steve Carell, this is his best performance in many years. His comic timing is really good. Ryan Gosling is also a suprise in this genre, usually we see him in much darker movies, but here he does a good performance as a true hustler, doing everything to remove new panties. There are some suprising twists in the story, wich makes Crazy Stuped Love a bit funnier than the usual romantic comedy. So, if youre gonna watch something romantic this year with someone you love, this would be a good choice. Just promise me to stay away from Kate Hudson.....
Rating: DDD
Cal Weaver ( Steve Carell ) have been married for over 20 years with his wife Emily Weaver ( Julianne Moore ). One evening while having dinner downtown, Emily tells Cal she wants a divorce. Shocked and confused, Cal is about to find out, she also slept with a working friend called David Lindhagen ( Kevin Bacon ). Cal leaves his cheating wife, and his kids, to get a new start. While depressed in a bar, he meets ladies man Jacob Palmer ( Ryan Gosling ). Jacob see how depressed Cal is over the situation, and makes a deal, he will help him become a new man. After some hard training, Cal finally gets it, that even he can be attractive to other women. But is this really what he wants`?
Crazy Stuped Love is suprisingly funny, it brings up all those things we all think about, do i need to change? Am i really happy with my life? And the biggest suprise is actually Steve Carell, this is his best performance in many years. His comic timing is really good. Ryan Gosling is also a suprise in this genre, usually we see him in much darker movies, but here he does a good performance as a true hustler, doing everything to remove new panties. There are some suprising twists in the story, wich makes Crazy Stuped Love a bit funnier than the usual romantic comedy. So, if youre gonna watch something romantic this year with someone you love, this would be a good choice. Just promise me to stay away from Kate Hudson.....
Rating: DDD
Colombiana
The year was 1994. I went out of the cinema after watching Luc Besson´s masterpiece Leon. I cant say there are many movies that still makes me feel enchanted, the way Leon still does. Ive probably watched it over 10 times, and still love it just as much as i did the first time. But that was almost 17 years ago, and since then Luc Besson hasnt really done anything as magnificant as Leon is. The Transporter movies were a fun ride, but thats about it. While he has continued producing different genre movies, he still manages to throw out some suprises, just when you think he is out of order. Colombiana is a bit different than his latest projects, so is this a step in the right direction?
Colombia, 1992. Drug lord Don Luis Sandoval ( Beto Benites ) have just finished buisness with Fabio Maria Estrepo, who just paid off his debt. But Don Luis dont trust Fabio, and wants him and his family dead. He sends his men to finish the family, but Fabio´s daughter Cataleya Restrepo, manages to escape with information about Don Luis, wich could destroy his drug empire. She visits the american embassy, where she leaves the information, and they manage to help her to America. But while in Miami, she escapes from the federal agency, and manages to travel to Chicago to her uncle Emilio Restrepo ( Cliff Curtis ) . She begins a new life with Emilio, where he also agrees to help her train as an assassin. 15 years later, Cataleya ( Zoe Saldana ), is getting closer to kill her main target Don Luis, but with his powerful army, things are not going to be easy.
It would be fair to call this Leon Goes Latino, because there are similarities with the story of Leon. Even if Colombiana is not as powerfull as Leon, its still a very good action movie. Its fast, its full of rage, and with a sexy latino girl kicking ass, you cant be dissapointed, right? Even if Luc Besson isnt directing this time, instead he leaves the job to talented Olivier Megaton, it still works on paper, with the final results. The story itself may seem very thin, but with so many smooth screen shots, including acoustic latino music wich fits right in, you cant feel dissapointed. And the acting? Nothing to complain about, the cast deliver strong personalities, and get very physical with so many guns and plenty of violence. Finally a solid action movie, with all the ingredients we all want. This is trully one of the better movies of this genre of the year 2011. Buy yourself a copy, i know you wont be dissapointed.
Rating: DDDD
Colombia, 1992. Drug lord Don Luis Sandoval ( Beto Benites ) have just finished buisness with Fabio Maria Estrepo, who just paid off his debt. But Don Luis dont trust Fabio, and wants him and his family dead. He sends his men to finish the family, but Fabio´s daughter Cataleya Restrepo, manages to escape with information about Don Luis, wich could destroy his drug empire. She visits the american embassy, where she leaves the information, and they manage to help her to America. But while in Miami, she escapes from the federal agency, and manages to travel to Chicago to her uncle Emilio Restrepo ( Cliff Curtis ) . She begins a new life with Emilio, where he also agrees to help her train as an assassin. 15 years later, Cataleya ( Zoe Saldana ), is getting closer to kill her main target Don Luis, but with his powerful army, things are not going to be easy.
It would be fair to call this Leon Goes Latino, because there are similarities with the story of Leon. Even if Colombiana is not as powerfull as Leon, its still a very good action movie. Its fast, its full of rage, and with a sexy latino girl kicking ass, you cant be dissapointed, right? Even if Luc Besson isnt directing this time, instead he leaves the job to talented Olivier Megaton, it still works on paper, with the final results. The story itself may seem very thin, but with so many smooth screen shots, including acoustic latino music wich fits right in, you cant feel dissapointed. And the acting? Nothing to complain about, the cast deliver strong personalities, and get very physical with so many guns and plenty of violence. Finally a solid action movie, with all the ingredients we all want. This is trully one of the better movies of this genre of the year 2011. Buy yourself a copy, i know you wont be dissapointed.
Rating: DDDD
torsdag 29 december 2011
Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1
Ever since Twilight came out, girls all ages have orgasm every time they see Taylor Lautner without a shirt. Ok, maybe some guys also...Now, i have only seen the first Twilight movie. So why watch the 4th part 1 now, when i havent seen what happend in New Moon and Eclipse? Because i got a free ticket to this movie, so i thought, why not? So what happends this time around in the world of Twilight?
1. Bella and Edward gets married
2. Bella and Edward have sex
3. Bella gets pregnant
4. Jacob is pissed off
5. Jacob starts to cry
There you go folks, i already told you too much. But if you are a Twilight fan, i know you already read the books. So what is Breaking Dawn Part 1? Its......almost like reading Blondinbella´s blog, its completely useless. I can understand why teen girls love this, theres so much romance and love, that in the audience i can see girls smiling like its their own wedding. What i am about to say now will make Twilight fans want to kick me in the nuts. Breaking Dawn Part 1 is awful. Where do i start? The main characters Edward and Jacob arent very interesting, the storyline is terrible, and the action scenes ( the few you get to see ) are so boring, scratching my nuts is more fun. When Taylor Lautner gets pissed off in a scene against the wolf clan, 3 words come to my mind:
That was gay
Ok, its not the worst vampire movie ive seen, there may be some worse, but still.....My advice, rent one of the Blade movies again instead. They have alot more to offer than Taylor Lautner without his shirt on.
Rating: D
1. Bella and Edward gets married
2. Bella and Edward have sex
3. Bella gets pregnant
4. Jacob is pissed off
5. Jacob starts to cry
There you go folks, i already told you too much. But if you are a Twilight fan, i know you already read the books. So what is Breaking Dawn Part 1? Its......almost like reading Blondinbella´s blog, its completely useless. I can understand why teen girls love this, theres so much romance and love, that in the audience i can see girls smiling like its their own wedding. What i am about to say now will make Twilight fans want to kick me in the nuts. Breaking Dawn Part 1 is awful. Where do i start? The main characters Edward and Jacob arent very interesting, the storyline is terrible, and the action scenes ( the few you get to see ) are so boring, scratching my nuts is more fun. When Taylor Lautner gets pissed off in a scene against the wolf clan, 3 words come to my mind:
That was gay
Ok, its not the worst vampire movie ive seen, there may be some worse, but still.....My advice, rent one of the Blade movies again instead. They have alot more to offer than Taylor Lautner without his shirt on.
Rating: D
The Stig-Helmer Story
If i told you, that 2.5 million people went to the cinema back in 1980, to watch Stig Helmer, a train collector nerd on vacation, you would probably wonder what made this movie special. The first movie called Sällskapsresan became a classic, because it wanted to show how swedish people usually are on vacation. And i have to admit, it had some funny moments. Then the sequels came, where Stig Helmer went to a ski resort, celebrated midsummer, played golf in Scotland, and went on a spa weekend. But honestly, the ideas were already running out in the 5th movie back in 1999, so my expectation for this new movie wasnt very high. So with Stig Helmer back on the screen, does he still know how to entertain the audience after over 30 years?
Stig-Helmer ( Lasse Åberg ) is now 70 years old, living in a retirement home. He still loves trains, and try to afford to buy classic models to his collection. He gets in contact with his old friend Ole ( Jon Skolmen ), to ask for his help. He wants to find his first love Annika. They both go out on a journey, to find the woman Stig-Helmer never forgot about, to see if he still have a chance to have her hand.
The story itself is pretty thin, but the movie is actually suprisingly charming. We travel back at moments to Stig-Helmers youth, were you see how he became this original personality. Its very simple, but thanks to some good comic points, The Stig-Helmer Story gives you a positive moment. But what really makes the movie work is Jon Skolmen, the norwegian actor, who still knows how to entertain the audience. Theres really not alot to complain about, The Stig-Helmer Story is a movie for the whole family, where even your grandparents will laugh at moments. Who needs Colin Nutley when we have Stig-Helmer and his train collection?
Rating: DDD
Stig-Helmer ( Lasse Åberg ) is now 70 years old, living in a retirement home. He still loves trains, and try to afford to buy classic models to his collection. He gets in contact with his old friend Ole ( Jon Skolmen ), to ask for his help. He wants to find his first love Annika. They both go out on a journey, to find the woman Stig-Helmer never forgot about, to see if he still have a chance to have her hand.
The story itself is pretty thin, but the movie is actually suprisingly charming. We travel back at moments to Stig-Helmers youth, were you see how he became this original personality. Its very simple, but thanks to some good comic points, The Stig-Helmer Story gives you a positive moment. But what really makes the movie work is Jon Skolmen, the norwegian actor, who still knows how to entertain the audience. Theres really not alot to complain about, The Stig-Helmer Story is a movie for the whole family, where even your grandparents will laugh at moments. Who needs Colin Nutley when we have Stig-Helmer and his train collection?
Rating: DDD
torsdag 22 december 2011
Kronjuvelerna
Lets be honest. Swedish movies are usually made in a certain way, to please the certain swedish audience. Its always been like this, and it will continue. So when a swedish movie that both looks different, and tells a different story, i always try and take a look. Kronjuvelerna has a mix of everything, a murder story, a love story, with influences from european cinema. But the question is, does it all mix well together?
Fragancia ( Alicia Viklander ) is arrested for murder attempt on Richard Persson ( Bill Skarsgård ), son of the wealthy factory director Persson ( Loa Falkman ). While beeing interrogated by Inspector Samnerud ( Tomas Von Brömssen ), details about her past is about to be revealed. When she was a young girl, Richard Persson was obsessed about having her. But she refused to be his, since she always been in love with ice hockey professional player Petterson Jonsson ( Björn Gustafsson ). When she finds out Pettersson is gay, her world crashes into pieces. And as she grows up, her life is becoming more complicated. Her little brother Jesús ( Jesper Lindberger ) drowns in a lake, after Richard and his friend, challange him to be cool, if he manages to find his keys in the water, that Richard threw into the lake. Everything goes wrong, and Jesús is not found. Fragancia finds out the truth, and she doesnt know how she will continue living. But even if everything is looking worthless, empty, things are about to change, more than she ever could expect.
Director Ella Lemhagen has some interesting twists in this story, its not just about love, its about life, and how people react in life crises. So far, so good. But the biggest problem is that some parts, are very strangely put together. While some scenes are very intensive, some scenes looks pretty silly. And im not sure what Ella Lemhagen was trying to achieve with this. Its a shame everything doesnt work, since this could have been a brand new start for the swedish movie industry, to try and make something different. Kronjuvelerna is at least an example of new thinking, and i have to give credit to Ella Lamehagen for that, she could be a new hope to swedish cinema. Lets just hope her next project can show us something more edgier, and more suprising than this, then we actually may have something to look forward to.
Rating: DD
Fragancia ( Alicia Viklander ) is arrested for murder attempt on Richard Persson ( Bill Skarsgård ), son of the wealthy factory director Persson ( Loa Falkman ). While beeing interrogated by Inspector Samnerud ( Tomas Von Brömssen ), details about her past is about to be revealed. When she was a young girl, Richard Persson was obsessed about having her. But she refused to be his, since she always been in love with ice hockey professional player Petterson Jonsson ( Björn Gustafsson ). When she finds out Pettersson is gay, her world crashes into pieces. And as she grows up, her life is becoming more complicated. Her little brother Jesús ( Jesper Lindberger ) drowns in a lake, after Richard and his friend, challange him to be cool, if he manages to find his keys in the water, that Richard threw into the lake. Everything goes wrong, and Jesús is not found. Fragancia finds out the truth, and she doesnt know how she will continue living. But even if everything is looking worthless, empty, things are about to change, more than she ever could expect.
Director Ella Lemhagen has some interesting twists in this story, its not just about love, its about life, and how people react in life crises. So far, so good. But the biggest problem is that some parts, are very strangely put together. While some scenes are very intensive, some scenes looks pretty silly. And im not sure what Ella Lemhagen was trying to achieve with this. Its a shame everything doesnt work, since this could have been a brand new start for the swedish movie industry, to try and make something different. Kronjuvelerna is at least an example of new thinking, and i have to give credit to Ella Lamehagen for that, she could be a new hope to swedish cinema. Lets just hope her next project can show us something more edgier, and more suprising than this, then we actually may have something to look forward to.
Rating: DD
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