Mad Heidi

One of my favourite hobbies on my free time is to visit waffle restaurants. I love waffles and could live on them forever, and waffle restaurants or cafés are the best. But i have a certain rule that i always do before i eat the waffle i am served. I always meisure that the waffle is the right size, which should be 7-inches long. So i always carry a meisure roller with me to each waffle restaurant. I have had waitors ask me why it is so important, and i try to explain why. I suppose they don´t really take this very seriously as i do, because i feel that this is extremely important. I am thinking about starting my own Waffle Meisuring Championship in the future, where the fastest ones who can meisure an amount of waffles within a certain time limit, wins a waffle trophy ( yes made by actual waffles ). I have to figure out what the championship competition will be called, but i guarantee it will have something sexy included. Speaking of waffles, i even remembered that we used to have them in my childhood home in the 80´s. That was a time when i wear my yellow / green shirt ( it was the 80´s, everything worked then ) and watched Prey For Death wish Sho Kusogi on VHS. Ninjas and waffles was actually a combination that worked. I am thankful that some directors have actually tried to make the 80´s come back to life in recent years, and a perfect example of that is the masterpiece known as Commando Ninja. Directed by Benjamin Combes, this film is the perfect love letter to 80´s action films, and tells the story of soldier John Hunter ( Eric Carlesi ) who is living an ordinary life with his young daughter. Until one day when she is kidnapped by a secret Ninja Organization, he must do everything to get her back. Commando Ninja is one of those films that is so damn good you get a boner within seconds. You get massive guns, explosions, ninjas, muscles, dinosaurs, time travelling and so much more. The film is a true love letter to the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Commando with some other 80´s elements thrown in there. A must watch for everyone. I always try and watch similar films such as Commando Ninja, especially if there is a film that tries something different and still have 80´s vibes. This is where i came across a film called Mad Heidi that i have been hearing for a while. I noticed that you can rent the film on the official webpage for Mad Heidi so i decided to do that. is this the best film you can see so far of the year 2023 or is Mad Heidi not as fun as i was hoping it would be? 

In a dystopian Switzerland that has fallen under the fascist rule of an evil cheese tyrant President Meili ( Casper Van Dien ), Heidi ( Alice Lucy ) lives the pure and simple life in the Swiss Alps, where her Grandfather Alpöhi ( David Schofield ) does his best to protect Heidi. One day Heidi´s boyfriend Goat Peter ( Kel Matsena ) is brutally killed by President Meili´s men, as they follow Heidi to her grandfather´s home. His home explodes and Heidi thinks he is dead as she is being taken away as a prisoner. She manage to escape eventually to begin her training into a real Alps warrior. Heidi will have her revenge.

If you didn´t think you would experience a perfect movie in 2023, think again!!!!!!

Mad Heidi is everything you could ask for, you have swiss nazis, swiss cheese, alp wrestling, alp outfits, alp music, cheese infected zombies, brutal kills, fantastic dialogue, acting better than most films released in the last century, and we also have the really cool 70´s blaxploitation look in this film. How is it even possible to make such a film like Mad Heidi and not even make it bad? It is like the whole crew on Mad Heidi knew that this is the film the whole world have been waiting for. So what is it especially that i love about Mad Heidi? First of all the comedic tone of this film is the funniest i have seen since.....Borat in 2006? Now think for a moment, that is 17 years ago a film really mad me laugh out loud. So alredy here you can tell that Mad Heidi is on the path to something great. I love all the crazy characters you can find in this film, especially 90´s legendary actor Casper Van Dien ( who have been in several classics such as Starship Troopers and Sleepy Hollow ) as President Meili ( President of Switzerland ). I don´t think anyone could have played this character as good as Casper Van Dien and i am really impressed how well he pulled this character off. I really love actress Katja Kolm ( who you should see in the 2017 film Mademoiselle Paradis ) as the insane character Fräulein Rottweiler. She is definetely the nightmare dating profile you wish never existed, and that is why we love this character so much. She is fearless, ego tripped and is definetely devoted to her country. The main character Heidi played by actress Alice Lucy is of course the biggest highlight of this film. She is absolutely fantastic as Heidi the alp assassin, and you can´t get enough of her killing. Since this is the first time we see Alice Lucy act as a lead actor in a bigger production film than she´s done before, i have to say she did a fantastic job and i really hope to see her return as this character. What other details do i love about Mad Heidi? The fact that lactose intolerance is a serious crime in Switzerland is really funny. The references to Switzerland food all the time and Switzerland traditions, it is all here and no matter how crazy this sounds it all makes perfect sense between attractive swiss women and brutal killings. Speaking about the brutal killings, there are some really funny butcher scenes in here where Heidi makes sure bodies are split apart. Director Johannes Hartmann and co-director Sandro Klopfstein have made a future cult classic with Mad Heidi that will be enjoyed for many generations ahead. There is just so much to enjoy about this film that you never want it to end. For me personally, this is exactly my kind of film and that is the reason why i call Mad Heidi a masterpiece. Swiss cheese anyone? Don´t mind if i do.

Rating: DDDDD